Happy New Year to all my loyal worshippers. I know you've all been waiting for my next post. Waking up before the sun came up on Christmas morning, blowing by all the presents to check to see if I've updated, only to be disappointed. Well, I would like to apologize for neglecting my fans for a few weeks. I takes time to open all my gifts though and when you have friends like mine, New Year's Eve parties go on for a week straight in various countries throughout the world. Perhaps it was the bubbly, but I let a friend convince me to open myself to the public more, in particular, gentlemen callers. In a not-so-sober state, I agreed to be set up with a boy from a middle income family. Before you judge, would a queen marry a butcher?? No!! Same damn thing....
Ok back to my story. Well, I was getting my nails done and that lady was filling me up on booze, so I told her about my new year's resolution. She insisted that I'd meet her son, Teddy, who's apparently the bastard child of the barber that shares the same building. I pictured a tall, sexy black stud that would give me free mani's and pedi's so I figured, why the hell not. Big mistake......
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| Paparazzi Pic of Teddy (post skin transformation) |
Meet Teddy....sorry, Master Teddy. A skinny nudist with an east indian complexion. Oh, and I can't forget, a penis that's blacker than the lump of coal Santa left in your stocking. Needless to say, not a good first impression. However, Tiger Woods has ever kind of race mixed in his genetics and he was a freak in bed, so I thought it would be unfair to run or break out my taser just yet. Reluctantly, I walk up to my date.
Master Teddy: Hey there (speaks english...not sure if that's a good or bad thing. Some guys are better when they don't talk to you)
Tegann Parx: Hi
Master Teddy: Come here girl...to the beach
Tegann Parx: I'm on the beach now.....
Master Teddy: You wanna fuck? (could be a joke, could be that his mind is just messed up by my hotness, could be his mixed race genetics bringing out his inner pervert, or could be that his mom pays for sex for the guy. I'll just ignore for now)
Tegann Parx: Are you a master? (change subject fast so I ask about his name)
Master Teddy: Yes (duhh)
Tegann Parx: Why does your tag say "White Pussy" then? (his actual tag)
Master Teddy: White pussy lover
Master Teddy: It's a club (but his tag didn't say "club" but nice try)
Tegann Parx: Oh it doesn't say lover...weird
Tegann Parx: Why is your cock so black? (like a trillion shades darker than his skin)
Tegann Parx: You have something? Like a disease? (a girl's gotta ask)
Master Teddy: I'm black...you see now ? (changes skin to a much darker one)
Tegann Parx: If you're black, why does your tag say "White Pussy"? (2nd attempt of an honest answer)
Master Teddy: Fuck you (you wish, pal)
Tegann Parx: You are mean
Master Teddy: ....and you are a stupid cunt (just bitter, knowing his chances are becoming very slim, very fast)
Tegann Parx: Did you like, slam a door on your cock? It's sooo black!! (awkward silence)
Tegann Parx: Are you really a master? (being nice, I changed the subject and it was the first thing I thought of)
Master Teddy: You are a dup bitch (I'm neither)
Master Teddy: FUCK OFF (walks off down the beach, possibly crying)
Tegann Parx: Why are you saying this to me? (not really caring)
Tegann Parx: I'm nice
(15 minutes pass before I hear him shouting my name. With a half bottle of Jack in me, I actually listen)
Master Teddy: Come closer my sweet girl (split personality or did he finally come to his senses?)
Tegann Parx: I don't see you (not wanting to)
Master Teddy: On the beach behind you (I spot him. He's all smiling and proud, showing me that he's a true stud. He's on the beach having sex. This girl must be either passed out or desperate. Oh wait...probably not a girl with that extra appendage and "Back Alley Tranny" tag)
Tegann Parx: Do you like dudes?
Master Teddy: Are you a dude ? (in your dreams...literally)
Tegann Parx: No
Tegann Parx: But do you like cock?
Master Teddy: I have one thanks (trying to be a smart ass. Key word is "trying")
Tegann Parx: You know you are fucking a transsexual?
Master Teddy: How can you tell? (it's not obvious?)
Tegann Parx: Umm "she" has a cock...
Master Teddy: Thanks for the warning
Master Teddy: I owe you one (pass, thanks)
Tegann Parx: Warning??? You were banging her!!!
Tegann Parx: You are officially gay now (break it to him gently)
Master Teddy: Not really
Master Teddy: I didn't penetrate her (pathological liar)
Tegann Parx: Your cock was inside a person with a cock....you are gay
Tegann Parx: I took a pic so I saw it (not really but I wanted him to admit it)
Master Teddy: No it wasn't. Show me
Master Teddy: You are so fuckin hot (throws me a curveball. Think he may have actually realised his on a date with a goddess)
Master Teddy: Grabbing your arms, pulling you tightly (Rape!!)
Tegann Parx: Yeah, if only I had a penis so you'd be into me
Master Teddy: I'm grateful for your warning
Master Teddy: I wanna repay you
Tegann Parx: Cool. I like money
Master Teddy: I'm broke (strike 3. Outta here but gotta be nice because his mama is the best)
Tegann Parx: I know guys that will pay for sex with you. Do that and then you can pay me
Master Teddy: You nasty little bitch
Master Teddy: I'm trying to be nice to your little ass (no helping this guy)
Tegann Parx: Hey don't call me nasty...you just fucked a shemale
Master Teddy: And I'm gonna fuck you
Master Teddy: Pulling your hair (pick your grave...anywhere on the beach)
Tegann Parx: Not that fucking a shemale is nasty. It just is with a cock that's so black, its gonna fall off
Master Teddy: Come with me bitch
Master Teddy: I'm gonna rip your ass apart (I don't do that till the 3rd date, at least)
Tegann Parx: Dude....I don't have testicles...I'm not your type
Master Teddy: Come here
Tegann Parx: No, last time I went over, you were bumping uglies with a tranny
Tegann Parx: Her tag even said, "Tranny"
Tegann Parx: All I saw was two tags..."Tranny" and "White Pussy"
Master Teddy: Come here, slut
Tegann Parx: It was messed up
Master Teddy: You little sassy mouth bitch
Master Teddy: I'm gonna teach you some manners
Tegann Parx: You can't call me a "sassy mouth bitch" and then say I need to learn manners....that doesn't make sense
Master Teddy: Get your bitch ass here
Master Teddy: NOW (uh oh breaking out the caps...I better do what he says......)
Tegann Parx: Or what's gonna happen to me?
Master Teddy: Or I'm gonna ignore you
Tegann Parx: Hmm ignore me or rip my ass apart. That's not even close to being a tough choice (ok fuck this jerk. I just need a pic because nobody will ever believe me when I tell about my date from hell)
Tegann Parx: Where's your cock baby? (possibly tucked in)
Tegann Parx: Are you a girl?
Master Teddy: So you are looking (yeah baby, I've been drooling over you since we met. It's so obvious I'm just playing hard to get because I am utterly infatuated with you and your charcoal penis)
Master Teddy: Here it is baby (there it was)
Master Teddy: Ready to breed you (ummm ok....)
Master Teddy: Slapping your face (that's usually the 2nd date, just before the whips and cuffs come out)
Tegann Parx: That's not nice
Tegann Parx: Gay guys are usually nicer than this
Master Teddy: Spits in your face (not my idea of exchanging bodily fluids)
Tegann Parx: You are a dirty fucker, you know that?
Master Teddy: Yes i know it
Master Teddy: Slaps you again (dude, we are not having sex. Quit with the foreplay)
Tegann Parx: Should just cut that black cock right off you
Tegann Parx: So you spit on me and beat me, but you make sweet love to a chick with a cock. Explain why I should think you are straight...
Master Teddy: Gropes your busty breasts
Master Teddy: slaps your breasts
Master Teddy: Inserting my fingers in your mouth
(Tegann Parx throws up)
Tegann Parx: Why does your fingers taste like shit?
Tegann Parx: Oh wait.....Don't even say it (I guess there was some foreplay with the tranny before he banged her)
Master Teddy: Grabs your hair
Master Teddy: Holds your hair tight and drags you
(Tegann Parx cuts her hair)
Tegann Parx: Omg look at that girl over therewith the huge tits (points at his transsexual friend)
Master Teddy: FUCK YOU
Tegann Parx: Meanie
Master Teddy: Kisses your lips
Master Teddy: Greedily eating them
(Tegann Parx pulls away)
Master Teddy: My strong arms holding you tightly
Tegann Parx: Why does your lips taste like cock? (I guess alot of foreplay went on before I showed up)
Master Teddy: Slaps your face
Master Teddy: Forcing you to your knees
Master Teddy: Shoving my dick in your face
(Tegann Parx buries her head in the sand)
Tegann Parx: There's a naked guy over there if you wanna have some fun (seemed more like his type)
Tegann Parx: and a male dog.....I'm sure there's some peanut butter around (yes, there actually was a dog and this guy was sick. I just wanted to escape so an innocent animal sacrificed to save a superior being as me is totally acceptable)
Master Teddy: Kicks you
Master Teddy: Savagely eats your breasts while I finger your pussy
Tegann Parx: Hey dirtbag, its a dog and he isn't mine (poor demented boy couldn't tell the difference between a doberman and a kitty. And leave cats alone. I'm calling the SPCA)
Tegann Parx: Ok bestiality is going too far. I'm outta here (backs up)
Master Teddy: You pushed it too far (...............)
Tegann Parx: I DID!?!?!?
Master Teddy: Yes you did
Tegann Parx: You beat the crap out of me, screwed a transsexual and did god knows what with that dog....but I pushed it too far? --------------------------DATE OVER---------------------------
But here's another sexy ass pic of me......
*** Special thanks to Deelite Zenovka for these awesome pics. Next time I promise to get permission to post em!!***
