Tuesday 16 October 2012

A Day in the Life of The Barbie Twins

Candy(milanna.mcandrews) and Dolly(caz.koray)

   Over the years, daredevils have put their lives on the line to entertain their fans. With utmost respect for people such as Harry Houdini, Evel Knievel and that idiot that ate McDonalds everyday until he almost died for his documentary, I put my mental and physical health in extreme danger. For my fans, I've taken on a task only Tegann California Parx could survive. I spent an entire day with not just one Barbie...not just two, but dum dum dum Theeeeee Barbie Twins!!!!! 

0900 As I pull into the twins' condo, I check my watch to find I'm right on time, as usual. Their door, however, is open and as I step inside. its quickly evident the mess is the result of a wild party. The furniture, from the lamps to the stove is pink and covered in glitter. I'm not sure if I'm in Barbie heaven or hell. Stepping over the liquor bottles, I shout out to the girls but the only response I get is a muffled moan coming from one of the rooms. I knock, before pushing the door open, only to find Candy on the bed with 2 black guys and Dolly passed out on another on the floor, a bottle of Cristal still in her hand. I take the champagne from her and decide to wait on the couch.

1000 After an hour and finishing 2 bottles of champagne, I decide I need to make something happen or A) I will get too damn drunk to work or B) I will get too damn drunk, go in the room and I will be sending this article to Penthouse. Once I realize screaming and jumping on them isn't working, I call an assistant and drag Candy and then Dolly to the bathroom. I strip them off, check if their "too good to be true" boobs are natural, and throw them both in the shower before turning on the water. 15 minutes later, they start to come alive. 

1030 I hear constant giggling and discussions about the girls' wild night coming from the bathroom. "Hehe you dirty wench hehehe. I told you Tyrell was almost too big to handle alone hehehe....and you brought Theo home too hehe." And the reply, "Hehehe hey, I'm still here. You're just jelly because they both wanted me hehe. Filthy bitch. Hehehe and you got stuck with Mike's tiny 9 incher hehehe". With a knock on the door, my assistant enters holding a bucket of chicken. Like a pack of rabid wolves, the guys are out the door, chasing her down in the parking lot. She's looking like she's enjoying being ravished by the naked men, so I return my focus on the twins.



1130 Finally, the girls emerge from the room. After a quick nap in their personal tanning bed, they each applied enough makeup to cover up what's left on their faces the night before. It's here when I notice the twins have their own language...one I'm certain only the other can understand. Holding a shoe to her chest, Candy actually covers more skin than her skimpy dress, "Like hehehe these? Hehe hung hehehe bedpost hehe chandelier hehe". To which Dolly replies, "Hehe video hehe upside down hehe electric shock treatment". My guess is its kinky and they liked it but who knows. They grab their bag and we're out the door. 

1200 We decide to go for brunch. As I walk down the street with the girls, more than a few heads turn their way. They sit down and each order a glass of orange juice and a full bottle of vodka. Thinking on what's best for the article, I help them finish the bottle. Dolly pulls a bunch of cards out of her purse to pay...each one with a different man's name on it. However, the check never comes and the waiter tells us its covered.

1300 Seeing me write "1300" in my notes, Dolly asks if I'm writing them a check. I tell her its actually the time to which she asks, "Are you from like Austria because our clocks only go to 12 and I know the time is all fucked up down under." I shake my head and ask the twins to show me some of their favorite places.

1400 We arrive at a high priced shoe store. Bill Gates would have to work a month to afford some of the heels in this place, but the girl's walk in and are greeted on a first name basis. It's evident that its not their first time and by this time, I doubt they are first timers in pretty much anything. As they quickly scan the place with "Got 'em, got 'em, got 'em", Candy finally comes across a pair similar to the ones she "lost having a foursome on a private golf course". I don't ask. They shout out a man's name as they take the shoes through the door. I'm starting to like these ladies' style.
The twins shopping with Krystel Kayo

1500 Doing my best to make sense of the Barbie Twins' conversation through the giggles, I find out we are on the way to the post office. The girls have a fan club and upon emerging from the building they are pushing a cart each. They quickly scan the letters for cash, which is deposited straight into their cleavage. We drop the parcels off at their place and after reapplying their makeup, Dolly changes her outfit because "Hehehe glitter cures their cataracts or something hehehe".

1600 We arrive in Shady Palms Retirement Home. Wtf. I take a deep breath and enter through the haze of Ben Gay and 80 year old flesh. I follow the twins down a hallway and before too long, they have followers. They enter through the double doors into a bingo game. The whole place goes quiet. Once again, they are quickly recognized and they take their seat upon the laps of a few lucky geezers. Each grandpa takes a turn to greet the girls and slide a few bills wherever they can.

1630 Candy helps a senior to a room in the back. It's nice to see a young woman help out her elders, but I'm curious to the reason they left. Candy wheels the guy out 20 minutes later in a wheelchair. He looks like he's had 5 simultaneous heart attacks but somehow has a smile from ear to ear. Candy arrives with messed up hair, smeared lipstick and an antique diamond necklace.


1700 As we leave the home, Dolly receives a call and we're on our way to a photo shoot. I sit my "heavily groped by senior citizen hands" ass on the sofa and watch the girls in various poses and decreasing amounts of clothing in front of the camera. With a "Be right back hehehe", they disappear into a room. I'm not up to date on newest technologies in photography but I assume they are developing the negatives. Hey, I only model!! I pop open a bottle of wine when a heavy set black lady with a mustache storms into the studio. With a wildly waving hand in my face, she demands to know her husband's location. I point to get her bitch ass out of my face. He throws open the door and I hear screams. Dragging Candy by her hair, she woman returns only to have Dolly on her back, swinging her purse at the linebackers head. After at least 5 blows, the woman drops and Dolly picks up Candy as we leave in a flash.

1800 In the parking lot, Dolly starts giggling hysterically. "Hehe the pretty twin saves you trashy ass once again hehehe." Candy adjusts her dress, joins her sister's giggle fit and replies, "Whatever, bitch. I told you I could deepthroat the whole thing hehehe. Now give me the 3 platinum cards that we bet, slut." The girls fix their makeup, hair, nails, and dresses.....

2000 Yes that did take 2 hours....and yes I did drink while I waited. So what!! We change and proceed to the most expensive restaurant in town. The hostess escorts us to a reserved table and a tray of drinks quickly follow. After a quick bite, we are motioned to a table of businessmen. The men try to hide their wedding bands, but its evident the girls aren't concerned with that. Within 10 minutes, Dolly is on the table and Candy is on a lap, then another, then another. Needless to say, the bill is taken care of and the girls leave with a few more business cards with a time and place on the back and a few more credit cards to add to their collection.

2200 The girls invite me to their club and as we arrive, we push our way though the paparazzi and perverts into the VIP entrance. When I walk in, I am once again blinded by the sparkling glitter and pink EVERYWHERE!! The crowd is going crazy and the girls immediately join them on the dance floor. It doesn't take long before Candy is making out with one black guy while dry humping another. Dolly is laying on the bar, offering body shots to people that can afford it as she shows how far she can take a champagne bottle in her throat. The girls obviously got skills and they know how to party. Throughout the night, the girls take turns showing off their new club, taking guys for a tour of the VIP room. It must be a big room because it took 45 minutes each time to show it. 
(Ok so I must confess, the next few hours get a bit hazy and maybe I put myself too into my job and possibly tried to hard to bond with the girls and drank to much. Therefore, you only get 19 or so hours with the Barbie Twins.)

0400 With the bar empty with the exception of the girls and 6 men, I decide to call it a night despite the twins protests since they "Got a couple guys for the magazine girl too". I thank them for letting me into their life tell them I am going to see the sexy, Portuguese, curvy, dark haired, long legged goddess of a DJ that I met while ummm retrieving a umm glass ummm eye from behind the DJ booth makes it home okay. With that, Dolly drunkenly mumbles to Candy, "It's a good thing we got 3 holes". The girls giggle as I slip out the door.


  So it wasn't a full day but I got laid and drunk for free, so I don't care. It's nice to finally meet two people that exemplifies what SL should be about...having fun and not giving a fuck what anyone thinks. They do what they want and love doing it. For those who like to judge, girls, you don't have what it take to last an hour with these twins and guys, you only last long enough until the girls toss you aside. If you think you can survive the pink and party with these girls, check out their club in SL or look them up inworld.

Club Link: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Campton/176/181/22

Fan Club: ThE DoLlY & CaNdY FaN cLuB......

*Special thanks To Bigblackjoe for supplying some of the pics of the girls for the article. To see more of his work, check out his site: Bigblackjoes's Flickr

Wednesday 10 October 2012

Fan Letters!!!

   As you already know, I love giving back to my fans so I took some time from my busy schedule to answer some questions I've received in my fan mail. Yes, it's true....I actually read all the letters I get from you. Of course, there are stacks and stacks delivered daily but using highly intelligent Virginians, the ones not worth my time are sorted and recycled. Yes it's also true that I care about our planet. So here's a few of your questions:

Bianca, 32, from Moscow, Russia asks: "Tegann, you are so beautiful. What is your secret to maintaining your good looks?"
    There's no secret really. I've been told I'm God's greatest creation, but I like to think he/she, Buddha, Allah, the goats and elephants people worship and the holy aliens those wack job scientologists pray to must have all gotten together and made a gift from the gods, ME!!

Mitch, 45 from Toronto, Canada asks: "Miss Parx, you are such a bitch. Would you ever dominate me?"
    Oh, I'm a bitch? I will not give you pleasure by calling you down so here's my response. Who the f**k are you to call me a bitch you piece of s**t motherf****r. I would kick your a** and crush your tiny little b****s, but I know your twisted mind would enjoy that. So the answer is "NO", a**hole.

Isabella, 6, from Paris, France asks: "Tegann, when I grow up, I want to be just like you. Will you come to my school?"
    Aww sweetie, of course I will. You just need to ask your teacher to start fundraising ASAP to cover the expenses of a first class ticket and 4 star hotel. I love my young fans and think it's adorable when they have unrealistic dreams. Kinda like those fat kids who want to be princesses. It's like, "You aren't born into a royal family and no prince will marry a plumper." Look at your moms...that's you in the future so keep it realistic kids.

Oprah, 58, from Chicago asks: "You've won countless journalism awards. What interview are you most proud of?"
     All the post are like my kids so of course, I can't say which is my favorite. They are all product of determination and hard work to bring you the best piece possible. Now like any parent with a family, I do have my favorite and only tell them when the others aren't around so I won't have to listen to bitching and complaining. 

Frank "The Tank", 21, Las Vegas, NV asks: "Remember me? I was at the frat house last Saturday where you did that trick with the bottle of tequila, a sombrero and donkey while draped in nothing but a Mexican flag. I didn't know a girl could actually handle a....."
    Let me cut you off right there, moron. I think you should attend more classes and less parties if you think I would ever be caught dead at a dingy frat house. So, lay off the booze before it kills the last two brain cells it took to put this stupid, ridiculous question together. If anyone finds, an earring there though can send it to my manager and I'll personally make sure it gets returned to the owner.

Mitt, 65, Detroit, Mi asks: "Are you voting Romney or Obama for Pres?"
    Oh dear lord. That's like asking which eye I'd like poked out. However, I can't complain about the idiot that gets elected unless I vote, so I gotta pick one of these puppets. I am afraid to answer the question as it will sway so many votes, I'm unsure the country would still be considered a democracy.

Hugo, 10, Milan asks: "What's your halloween costume this year?"
     I think I'm going to stick a Tootsie Roll in my mouth, put on my Saints jersey and be "Perfection Personified"

Martina, 17, Stockholm asks: "You inspire so many people in so many ways. Who inspired you to be who you are?"
    I would say Madonna, Mother Teresa and Bill Gates. Though its pretty evident, I used my innovative genius and my goodwill to become a world known superdiva. Duh...

Dr Laura, 666, Hell asks: "You are married to a woman. Does that mean you're a dyke?"
    What!?!? No, I am not!!! I am normal. I don't wear plaid, army boots and a bandanna over my shaved head. I am a feminine goddess. When it comes to our marriage, sexual preference isn't involved....it's a bond of awesomeness. Why does it matter to you anyway, Hitler. Get a life and stay outta mine, douche.

Mark Z, information withheld asks: "Do you have facebook or twitter? If so, can you add me?"
    No, I have no time for such foolishness. People have created fake accounts, but they crumbled under the pressure of pretending to be me. After I hired hackers and a few mob hits, the accounts are now closed and the imposters have been taken care of. Umm that last part was a joke.

 Phil, 57, Redneck County, USA asks: "In your interview, there are times you show signs of someone with drug and/or alcohol problems. Have you ever been to rehab?"
    You dumb fuck. I'm a model citizen. All 7 DUI's were dropped by the judge. Yea, he was uncle, but even a family member wouldn't sweep that many under the table, right? Innocent!! As for your stupid question, I am totally sober. I was only in rehab doing research for a movie role. Oh and I met your crackhead mama and drunk grandma in there, bitch..

Jacob, 51,  Sydney, Australia asks: "I purchased a fork you used at a restaurant on ebay. Would you mind if I cloned you?"
    First of all, you are an idiot. I always bring my own silverware to any place I eat out. I'm not gonna use something that's been in somebody's mouth. What if it was used by a diabetic, black guy or Texan....or, oh god, dare I even think about the thought of a combination of the three. Just ewww, freak.
   As for the cloning question, if there ever was a chance of cloning me this year, it would prove the Mayans right about the world ending in 2012. One planet doesn't deserve two Tegann California Parx's.

Hannah,28, Tokyo, Japan asks: "I love you but how do you deal with haters?"
    Haters? People worship me. I am so loved, even the jealous can't help but adore me.

Gina, 24, Los Angeles asks: "I just completed my internship at Time magazine. They offered me a permanent position but I would decline if I knew I had a shot at any job, from doing horoscopes to getting you lunch, at SLifestyles. What are the possibilities?"
    Send me a face and full body pic, along with your measurements and clean STD test and we'll go from there.

Juan, 73, Mexico City asks: "I had a dream that I actually went on a date with you. It was incredible. What would be your dream date?"
    I bet that dream woke the dead, right gramps? I already had my dream date. I wrote a script for Black Swan 2 starring Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman and I, but on the 15th day of filming, they had to pull out due to the pressure of co-starring with me. It was going great until countless porn companies tried to buy the rights. Long story short, it was a great two week date and I got the tape to prove it.

Benny N, 54, Jerusalem, Israel asks: "Tegann, I believe you are capable of anything. What advice would you give to world leaders regarding conflicts involving Iran, Israel, Syria, etc?"
    People need to chillax. I think the leaders of both opposing sides should meet bringing the best of what they have to offer. For example, if the Israeli and Iranian leaders met, and brought the best liquor, drugs and ho's their countries had to offer for the other to experience, how could he feel the need to destroy it afterwards. Pussy and booze.... the solution to all world problems.

If you got questions for me, send them to me and I'll try my best to answer them all in Fan Letters #2. I'd like to add that gifts and/or monetary donations increases the chances of the letter getting past the Virginians. 

Thursday 4 October 2012

Kittyinda Henhouse

     I, Tegann California Parx, has always taken pride in being a role model for society. I reach out to my fans and, since they can't relate to my success and fame, they repay me by worshipping me. Unlike many "celebrities", I give back to them by signing autographs and posing for their pics. Seeing their cute little faces when they hand me over $20 just before the photo is taken really brings a smile to my face. That is why I had to take to time to let my fans know there are pictures floating around that someone claims features me. The person I'm referring to is Kittyinda Henhouse aka Toxic Candy.... 

This Motherfucker!!
  A while back, after months of emails and begging and bribing my agents (yes, I get that many work requests, I got 7), she managed to set up a photoshoot with me. I won't lie, she did amazing work and was very professional. These are the photo's she did that day: 


Fuck I look good!!

   Yeah so, as you can see I look incredible and was very pleased with how the pictures turned out. It's a shame it was all a set up to tarnish the immaculate reputation of your queen. I guess, out of all the snaps from the camera, she managed to get enough shots of my face to use in her future devilish plot. Even though I may have had a few bottles of Jack that day, I know I would never be caught dead doing what that little slut is doing on that pole. It's obvious that she photoshopped my modelesque face onto a body of a goddess. Once again, I am a hero to the kids so I have no doubt they will believe me over the paparazzi. I mean, what honest person has an alias, though Toxic Candy is fitting because she is trying to poison and rot my lil Tegannators brains. Here is a few samples of what you'll find on her website:




    Now if by chance this steamy, gorgeous sexpot is a look-a-like, then I can understand the temptation to use my name to reap the benefits of being me, but Kittyinda Henhouse knows it wasn't me. I am certain my team of lawyers will take care of this problem one way or another, so my fans shouldn't worry about anyone thinking I'd be caught dead in such unlady-like situations. However, the model in these photos is so stunning, I can't keep the rest of them from you. Because of copyright laws, I can only post 2, but to see more you will have to visit her site ( CLICK HERE). Also, there's alot of other sexy pics on the site...not as hot as "my" pics but still total hotness. (so I've been told...I don't indulge in such pornography!!) 

Tegann C. Parx out, bitches!

Wednesday 3 October 2012

Million Dollar Man

   Guess who's back fuckers!! I know I've neglected my lil Tegannators over the summer, but I've had some crazy adventures and this, in case you didn't know, is what make me amazing. Well, the queen is back and better than ever. Just joking...you can't get better than perfect! Anywho, on my return, I bring to you the Million Dollar Man, Fotios Kahanamoku. 


$$ Fotios Kahanamoku $$

   When the name, Fotios Kahanamoku is mentioned in SL the conversation usually goes like this.....

Nun 1: "Blah, blah, blah Fotios Kahanamoku blah, blah. blah"
Nun 2: "Who the fuck is that? Did you read the latest SLifestyles post?"
Nun 1: "You know, that Million Dollar Man dude....and yes, Tegann Parx is a beautiful genius. I'd do her."
Nun 2: "Ooooh yeah!! That's the guy with the big wallet that the blonde bimbos chase around. Of course you'd do her. She's the fucking bomb, bitch."  

  
Tegann Parx: You live a pretty secluded life with all your girls. Why would you want to do an interview with the legendary Tegann Parx and let all of SL into your personal life?  
MDM: I wanted to do an interview for a long time and provide more info to the public. So hopefully i will get less IMs from fans or jabronis asking me stuff about my lifestyle. Those IMs have increased lately and become a serious matter, since all these ringing bells distract me from my favorite activities such as fucking some fine asses, etc.
  The reason I wanted you to do it is because I have seen previous interviews you made and they are, in fact, entertaining to read. I had offers from a few people to make an interview before, but I didn't liked the samples of the work they showed me, so I declined their proposals.       

TP: Yeah, everyone loves and wants a piece of me. When you're not spending your money and adding to your collection of prim tits, what does the Million Dollar Man like to do in SL?
MDM: Well, I enjoy some opera live music events from my reserved VIP seats. I also enjoy shopping for suits and have my fav photographers take pics of me with my girls.    

TP: Oh, I've been caught on camera with a few girls myself, but that's a whole other story... probably best left for another day. Right now, is your account balance over or under a million? 
MDM: A while back, I earned the nickname Million Dollar Man. I had an average of 2 Mil in my account, but people advised me that having so much lindens in my account is dangerous because of hackers and especially since Linden Lab never refunds. So last year, I started holding much much less, and I transfer money from a prepaid card, when I need cash which happens to be very often. I don't spend less than when I was walking around with these millions in my pocket.

TP: I got a safe in the back if you ever need a place to store it. You got this huge office building. What kind of business do you run?
MDM: None. Unless you are a very talented creator, which I am not, sl business aren't worth the effort and stress, in my opinion. I have owned a few strip clubs, just for my entertainment.The strippers shared all the clubs`s incomes and I took care of the costs, but I got bored of them pretty fast. I got rid of them, but occasionally, I do sponsor magazines, fashion shows, contests and, in general, other peoples' businesses I like. I have this skyscraper, simply because I wanted to have one.              

TP: (bats her eyelashes with a smile) Ummm you sponsor magazines? How many people work for you now? 
MDM: Well, I just have a secretary, simply cuz I wanted to have one.

TP: Just 1? I got like 60 just working in my sweatshop. What are some of her duties?
MDM: To give me boners by being around me.

TP: Hello...I'm doing that right now...for free!!! How does your interview process usually go?
MDM: I interview the beautiful girls who want to join the infamous "Spoiled by the Million Dollar Man" group. The first thing I do is ask them to strip so i can take a look at their bodies. Then, most likely, I sign a check and i fuck them. I have participated in some interviews of some modeling contests  sponsored, but the fun ended after I asked to see their bodies.

TP: Sounds like a few of my friday night dates. What's the biggest mistake you ever purchased?
MDM: I have been scammed from a jabroni land provider and I have actually purchased and rented a land I have never received. I didn't care about the money loss, but the feeling of being scammed had me been angry for 2 days.

TP: Oh boo hoo. I told you that that rental was under a volcano and Mother Nature is a bitch sometimes. Anyway, no refunds so just let it go. If a guy came along named "The Two Million Dollar Man", would you feel the need to up your game?
MDM: A nickname on its own means nothing. I have been called a show off by some jealous jabronis, but it's not showing off if you back it up.

TP: Does that mean you drop your pants because people call you a prick? How many girls do you currently have in your harem?
MDM: Well, lets see. I have 13 busty trophies on my spoiled group, a slave, a secretary and few more girlfriends who didn't suit in the busty category. So lets assume around 20 more or less.

TP: I bet you you got them all together at once, they'd have the combined IQ of a genius. Well, maybe the lower spectrum. It's no secret that you're a magnet for girls. Do you think its for your money or do you have other things that the girls are more intrigued by?
MDM: I am happy with those girls who want only my fat paychecks. I need variety, quantity and quality. It would be impossible for me to actually be emotionally involved with 20 people at the same time. However, there are a few girlfriends and my slave who loves my personality, despite being an asshole with a huge ego. I have also became a friend with some of my trophies, since I've known them for over a year.

TP: You know, if you had said "she loves my personality, despite being a SEXUAL GOD with a huge COCK", it would probably boost that rep!! What's your type of woman?    
MDM: The one who swallows.

TP: That's deep!! What if a transsexual or guy ran into you one day and you felt some kind of chemistry that you didn't feel with the plastic jewels you like to have around..... would you pay for a sex change, give them implants and hair extensions, dress them up and keep them as one of your girls?
MDM: I don't transform people.

TP: So, anything with a couple holes to fill. You actually have a trophy room, displaying  photos of your girls guarded by the velvet rope. Is that rope to keep the guys back far enough that their bodily fluids don't ruin the pics?
MDM: Hahaha!!

TP: If a girl wanted to be part of your group, what advice would you give to get your attention?
MDM: To be herself, to try to be unique, and to be patient, cuz I am very busy and it may take a while before I finally meet her and give her a chance.

TP: You've got cash....invest in cloning!! After you've taken notice, what's next for them?
MDM: I usually have few "meetings" with them before i officially invite them into my group. Of course, I am generous during these "meetings"

TP: Ohhhh I get it. These girls are paid for their company. If anything else happens, it's considered a donation. (wink wink) Does everyone have a price?
MDM: Everyone has a price for the Million Dollar Man.

TP:  If someone wanted an orgy with a Brazilian model, a pink furry, a busty blonde nitwit and an asian 18 year old shemale dressed like Sailor Moon, how much would that cost them?
MDM: Depends on the rates of the people participating and the time the orgy will last. 10k for the orgy session would be fine, I think. How much the psychologist will cost for his mental issues, though, is an another story.... Pink furry? What the hell?!?!

TP: Hey, listen! Nobody told me not to mix my meds with enough alcohol to kill an elephant and besides, all those Vegas neon lights brings out the fun in a girl. If you see a girl and she's smoking hot but have a shit personality, can you buy her a new one or do you rip off her look and stick it on a fugly chick with a good attitude?
MDM: I don't fuck ugly chicks! I don't transform people either, I try to change their personality. I would choose to fuck the smoking hot bitch with the shit personality. Been there, done that! Fucking bitches with shitty personalities is a turn on. Who said i have to suffer by hanging out with them, when we can meet just for sex.

TP: It sure seems like you're an expert in girls with bad personalities. What's the craziest thing you've had your girl do?
MDM: Suck my cock with her husband right next to her afk for 5 minutes. (she's supposed to be in monogamous relationship)

TP: Well, well, well, it doesn't take you long. They weren't, by chance, laying next to each other in the cemetery? With the exception of a few, most of your girls are blonde. Is this a physical preference or is it a money saving idea because they are already dumb and slutty enough to do anything you want?
MDM: There is a rumor that i like only blonde girls, which is not true. My group is for busty girls and most of them are "barbies", so they tend to have blonde hair, but girls, your hair color doesn't matter as long you have a nice face and hot body.

TP: I guess if its not a preference then the latter must be the case. Don't you think your money could be better used by some of the charities here in SL than on paying a ho for her anal cherry or paying for an extra 20 cc's on a bimbo's already inflated chest...or in some cases, lips?
MDM: I don't trust supporting charities through sl. I have never done it, and never will.

TP: Umm you trust me and I got The Tegann Parx Foundation to umm "help" children in sweatshops owned by beautiful famous SL celebrities. Do you ever rent out your girls for like a company Christmas party, for example?
MDM: Nope, I don't need to earn money in any way or form from sl.

TP: Ok...just wondering. You know with Xmas nearing and how a few sluts can make a party fun. Did you ever pay to have a girls chest enhanced?
MDM: Like i said before, I don't do transformations However, I have paid for breast implants for girls who wanted to try them, but couldn't afford them.

TP: I guess that could be considered charity so maybe you won't go to hell after all. Ever pay to have umm your wiener enhanced?
MDM: (pulls out his penis) Take a close look for any indication of surgery. 

TP: Hold on, I got a microscope in the back. No scars, but if you use enough lotion and rub it out ....err in enough, it'll clear up any scarring. Ok here's some tough questions. Of course, you don't have to answer, but if you don't, I'm sure there's a place you can buy a set of balls......
  Which of your girls:
  a) Gives the best blow jobs?
  b) Hints that she wants $$ the most?
  c) Is most willing to do anything you want?
  d) Have the best ass?
  e) Is the freakiest in bed?
  f) Is the biggest bitch?
  g) has the most sex in SL?
  h) costs you the most
  i) is the cheapest to "maintain"?
  j) do you wish was more like me?
MDM: All of my girls are very good at pleasing my demanding cock. Hot looking, greedy gold diggers for some $$ and experienced!! I know I'm avoiding the question but its like asking a parent which of his kids loves the most. Even if he favors one, he will never admit it.


   Well that answer sucked balls. My sweatshop kids are putting off The Wizard of Oz and we are still looking for a cowardly lion. If you want to be known as the Million and Two Dollar Man, the part is yours.

             
  

Anyways, if you think you got the goods, and want to be featured behind the velvet rope of the Million Dollar Man's trophy room, then now you know what it takes. To check out the lifestyle of Fotios Kahanamoku, visit his Flickr: