Thursday, 16 November 2017


   Guess who's back!!! That's right, it's your OG queen, you bunch of bitches and sissies. It's really me, your savior of all SL boredom. So lock up your boyfriends, girlfriends and even your furries, because after serving my 10 years of "hard time", you are finally in the presence of a higher power once again. For any of you that are smart enough to do the math and realize it's been less than 10 years since my last post, well that's what good behavior, lowered standards and a couple of scratched up knees can do for you. 
   So, why return to my beloved SLifestyles so quickly? It had nothing to do with the countless fan letters I received begging for my return, the multi-million dollar offers from various advertisers, or the love of sharing my talents with the world. In fact, I never even opened the fucking letters, I made more money smuggling drugs into jail and I shared my true talents with the warden and a few of my prison bitches. No, I'm back because Little Miss Probation Officer thought it would be beneficial of me to have a job upon my release. So let's get on with it....bring on the SL trash!! 

Torrie Verwood

   Oh boy, my team must have worked years to come up with this one. I guess it's only fitting to ease my transition from the sex crazed, drug fueled, scum of the earth behind bars to the public with this one. Today, we are blessed to be have with us, Torrie, formerly Torrie Verwood and Busty Torrie (don't worry, perverts, she still got a huge rack), and her lovely sister and manager, Alana. 
    For any of the few of you that haven't had the pleasure of Torrie ( that's no typo, "meeting" was never supposed to be in there), you're missing out. A skinny, 5'8 blonde with a flat tummy and a not-so-flat H cup chest, Torrie has a look that reeks of sex which, upon our first meet, is actually what she smelled of. She's outgoing, outspoken, but to my surprise, even through her heavily medicated state, she has the ability to form comprehensible sentences. This could be very interesting....

How many surgeries (boob jobs, nose jobs, lip injections, lobotomies, etc) did you have to get to this point?
Torrie: I am not very comfortable talking about this subject. I am 100% Natural, but I am not against plastic surgery I've had slight botox and that's about it! (pouts with her obviously fake duck lips and then manages to force a smile with her very frozen face)

Tegann: Of course! It's all natural beauty and this ankle bracelet was a gift from Tiffany and Co. What happened in your life to inspire you becoming a cock crazed bimbo?
Torrie: Well, I was always very sexually advanced with my natural skills, but the drugs and the muscle relaxers helped me to take it to the next level. Oh, and also I want to thank my trainer, Tyrone. He was always there for me. (looks at the camera and winks smiling with her slightly crooked lips)

Tegann: Natural skills? I'm sure Tyrone was a very good coach with muscle relaxers and his oversized....umm coaching equipment and stuff. What kind of life did you live before the change?
Torrie: What change? (giggles) So, I really hated my mom and started having intercourse with my very big and black step fathers to piss her off. Oh, and I was very flat chested and pretty much considered the ugly bitch of the family until I hired a better makeup artist. (smiles awkwardly before looking up with her teary eyes and fanning them with her fingers)

Tegann: Well, luckily for me, I've never needed one. What impact did the transformation have on your life?
Torrie: Nothing! I've always been a spoiled bitch, I think everyone is jealous of me and my sister/Manager because their men want to pay us all their money, we just got it like that. (she lets out a slutty, high pitched villainess-like laugh as she squishes her bolted on breast implants with her elbows. Trying to cover up her exposed rejuvenated designer vagina, she pushes her mini skirt down and crosses her smooth legs.)

Teenage Torrie and Alana 

Tegann: Getting into the bimbo scene, did your IQ drop, causing your change or afterwards because you were surrounded by dumb, plastic bitches?
Torrie: People always underestimate my abilities and intelligence because of my looks. Don't judge a boob by its cover... Ooops! I meant book! (giggles and snorts)

Tegann: You mean to tell me there's actually people that think you may not be the brightest because you have pumped your entire body full of chemicals? Some people.... What was it like growing up in a home with Harlee Fallen?
Torrie:  Well Tegann, I have always been in the spotlight. From a very young age my mom forced me to join pageants and spray tanned the fuck out of me. Then I gradually became a child star having a show on Disney Chanel with my sister which was like called like the ''Sweet Life of Torrie and Alana'', so she used to be very abusive and strict. Like when I put on some weight she used to drag me to the toilet by my hair and force me to through up and got me addicted to heroin when i was like 13.

Tegann: Seriously, that is so awful. I didn't realize Harlee could fuck up so bad. She could have let you get fat and used it for her injections. How many of mommy dearest's boyfriends have come on to you?
Torrie: Pretty much all of them! Luciano, Deshawn, Aduba and Kunte and the list goes on.

Tegann: That's a very minuscule section of that list. Kinda sounds like the roll call from the men's wing of the jail. In your profile, you mention "being up Alana's ass" and vice versa. Is that some kind of incest fetish you're into?
Torrie: I think incest is okay as long as its not with your brother or biological father. We're just a very open-minded family. 

Tegann: There's no chance in hell you will ever track down your biological father. Harlee would pretty much have to be Maury Povich's only guest for all eternity in order to find him so don't worry about. Just bang your slutty little heart out. Is there anybody who has banged the Holy Trinity of SL sluts?
Torrie: I don't think anybody is man enough to be able to handle 3 of us to be honest. My mother is a whole lot of woman and by that I mean she is obese and then, combined with me and Alana, like no.

Torrie, Harlee and Alana

Tegann: If the average woman's body contains 55% water,  is there enough left of the 100% to account for the amount of silicone in yours? 
Torrie: I am not a scientist so I am not sure, but I think you're forgetting about the amount of cum I carry around everyday. Sperm is liquid right?

Tegann: You really are an enigma. Not so sure that's a good thing in this case, though. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the fame you gained from fucking some of the most notable men in SL and having picture evidence posted of it posted all over the internet?
Torrie: I don't know. Like, I just have these ugly crazy exes of their's, like, obsessing over me now! Its so ugly. Like, girls get over it, I am better than you. The advantages are all of their fans...I end up gaining.

Tegann: Those little haters. Whats the craziest thing you've been asked to do for money? Well you're pretty easy, so you can forget about the money part.
Torrie: I want to make one thing very clear. I am not an escort!! All those accounts on escort sites are fake! I would never fuck anybody for 15k. The craziest thing I have been asked to do is probably wear a fat suit during intercourse and by that I mean, the Sking body, like ewww.

Tegann: Ouch! Some of these guys are just creepy, but you obviously have no dignity left to do that. Have you gotten a lot of hate from other bimbos because you are sluttier, more plastic and a bigger whore than they are?
Torrie: Oh my god, Tegann darlin'. These bitches always message me when I go out in public and threaten my life for being hotter than them. But being so popular and hot from such a young age, I have grown a thick skin and even a thicker booty thanks to my mothers surgeon, Dr.Pepper. 

Tegann: He is quiet the artist. More of a Picasso than Michelangelo, but you that's a nice butt. You even had impostors? Are you sure they weren't just a bunch of cracked out strippers after a week long binge?
Torrie: (squints her eyes and puckers her lips looking you up and down all shady)

Tegann: Okay. Okay. Women are taking a stand all over the world recently. What are you doing to promote feminism?
Torrie: By being a free spirit. I mean, I love getting gang banged. It's like my hobby, a hobby I take very seriously. I am a true feminist! I take pride in my work! I am promoting female sexuality and how we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves and what god gave us.

Tegann: I see that from you. I mean literally. Your tits and vagina are all hanging out right now. In your Flickr photos, you seem to enjoy the company and enormous appendages of various black men. Sometime, even many at once. However, you are a part of the "Aryan Sisterhood". Are you actually some really some kind of a hick KKK spy? 
Torrie: I am not allowed to speak on this, but I think people are just trying to spread rumors about me. I personally love everybody that comes in touch with me and my vagina. I'm here to spread the love.

Tegann: Is that slang for a new STD or something? Whats your opinion on Black Lives Matter?
Torrie: I think its great that people are noticing all the problems that are happening especially since its been happening for such a long time. I am glad that people are addressing it now. But do black lives really matter?

Tegann: Personally, I hate when my servants take days off, so I hope cops don't shoot any of them. Have you noticed any new trends that you helped start in the bimbo world? Or do the girls still use the Sking bodies and have a bunch of bestiality loving men chase them like they are cock addicted cows?
Torrie: These hoes still look like shit compared to me, but I've helped them in a few different ways. I feel like I inspire them to look less sloppy in a way or two. I've had numerous bitches message me and tell me they want to get skinnier because I make them insecure, but I've yet to see one actually come through and look better. They just stick to their hideous bodies and stack fucking bracelets on because their wrists have these ugly Frankenstein seams.

Tegann: Your beauty obviously can be intimidating, but you also have a big mouth and aren't afraid to use it. How often does it get you in trouble? 
Torrie: I get in trouble quite often, but the same big mouth also gets me out of trouble. If you know what I mean! (She flashes a devilish smile)

Tegann: It's not like God made it for communication or food consumption. In your young 20 years, you have been the apple of many older men's eyes. What do you think is the reason for their attraction?
Torrie: I just know how to work ugly old people, and gentlemen with money.

Tegann: In those 20 years, you managed to marry multiple times. Your first husband was Lorenz Beerbaum, a former club owner and a man who goes through wives like you go through abortions. Tell us about that marriage. 
Torrie: Lorenz, the cute little German serial killer who I hijacked from the big ugly mess, Anita Dark. He was okay... (she gets emotional as her voice cracks as she talks) He physically abused me and (sniffles) spread rumors about me! He said that he caught me with another man on his bed! I don't think giving a blowjob to another man on your husbands bed should be considered cheating!

Tegann: In my opinion, if he didn't orally, vaginally and anally fill you up, you did nothing wrong. (long, awkward silence) When you left him, did it totally devastate his wallet, self confidence and sanity, leading him to losing his club?
Torrie: Well, he was basically milking Jack. Jack was the one who paid for everything. He was just over Lorenz's diva attitude. It actually breaks my heart seeing Lorenz's new club idea flop so hard! (she goes from crying to smiling and giggling like a psychopath)

Tegann: I always thought he was the type to milk another man. What was your favorite thing about that first marriage?
Torrie: My favorite thing probably was just hanging out with Lorenz. Despite everything, he actually was not bad company. Oh, and Anita was so much fun to mess with. She was going ape shit crazy when Lorenz tossed her out like a piece of trash for my young 20 year old pussy. Then, there was this other psychopath who, like, basically attacked me saying that Lorenz was hers no matter what. I think her name was Gianna. She had these big disgusting lumpy tits. Bless her soul, she role plays as a horse now.

Tegann: Wow, I knew Lorenz was pretty kinky, but a horse? Then you moved on to another relationship, with photographer, Ramos Darkfold. Is it true it gets better the second time around?  
Torrie: Oh gosh. Ramos was a crazy ass psycho! Basically, a lot of girls would agree with this statement. I have girls messaging me all traumatized and shit because of him. That relationship was never that serious to me, I just played along and messed with his head because I wanted pictures done by him. He was very controlling and retarded beyond the level which is considered normal. 

Tegann: Sounds like the average SL gentleman to me. Now just recently, you got hitched again to SL's Million Dollar Man, Fotios Kaha..Kan...Kahnt....ahh fuck it. You know who I mean. How did you two meet and what made you stand out from the other linden hungry airheads?
Torrie: Well, my poor husband was stuck with this ugly ogre (who is apparently a human toilet now) named Kaylee. Me and the MDM were good friend back then, so I talked him into basically divorcing her because she was far too ugly for him. Which is what I told him and he pretty much agreed. The next thing I know, he is down on one knee proposing to me.
  Oh and we met through Flickr. He was spamming me with messages and asking for my inworld name, which I ended up giving to him. I think what makes me stand out is my personality. I am not a fucking crazy sex bot like these bitches on here.

Alana, Torrie and MDM Wedding photo

Tegann: Awww a storybook romance....if Larry Flynt had to write it. How was the wedding night? 
Torrie: Analicious!!

Tegann: My kind of relationship! Was there a pre-nup signed? 
Torrie: Of course! I have far too much to lose.

Tegann: Smart girl. How does it feel to have your husband always surrounded by beautiful, slutty women?
Torrie: (cackles) Beautiful? Where?

Tegann: I don't see it either. Just a weak attempt to be nice. I've seen the leaked pictures, you seem to have many sexual adventures since you got married. Is being faithful out of the question?
Torrie: Wait what?? Me and Foti are totally exclusive! (giggles and flutters her eyes)

Tegann: Your husband seems to marry girls who have a fondness for black men. Do you think bathing his cock in African sperm is his bizarre fountain of youth or just a big coincidence that his women are obsessed with dark meat?
Torrie: Lets just say he has a type! (smiles sarcastically)

Tegann: Do you have any regrets in SL?
Torrie: Becoming a brunette! That shit is disgusting! It looks like diarrhea running down your head. 

Tegann: So Torrie...
Torrie: (interrupting) Bitch, what's with these questions!

   With that, Torrie storms off. Staggering to the restroom and pulling a vial of white powder along the way, her short dress lifts over her exposed butt, giving everyone a good view. I turn my attention to the equally as attractive and plastic sister, Alana. Giving her a shake and a shot of tequila, I manage to wake her long enough to ask some questions about her sibling. 

Torrie and Alana

Tegann: What exactly do you manage for Torrie?
Alana: I'm currently my sister's personal assistant and her manager. I manage her modeling career as well as her relationships. I know that might sound odd, but she kinda had a track record of hopping from dick to dick one might say... I had to clean up her image a tiny bit! We're trying to create not only a brand for Torrie and the Verwood Sisters, but it's a LIFESTYLE. We want to inspire all young little girls or little boys wearing their mothers pearls, that you too can have everything - just gotta work for it. If anyone is looking to promote their clubs Torrie also makes public appearances for a small price of L$1,000,000 - contact us.

Tegann: I'm very aware of her prices. Just make sure to wait until the interview is published before you cash that check. Whats the wildest experience you have had with your sister?
Alana: (rolls her eyes and almost vomits in her mouth) Well, this might come of a shock, but my sister is very into being fisted. I know... someone as beautiful as her, you would never expect such a thing, but it's indeed true. We were at a club promoting it and then, later that night, we headed back to the after party - needless to say it got a bit out of hand. Torrie was totally wasted and started ripping her clothes off and turned into this possessed slut from the exorcist demanding that all the rappers start fisting her. I was in completely shock, but like a good business woman, I could see the dollar signs and pulled out my phone and recorded and put it on youtube and pornhub.

Tegann: That how a real manager operates, people. You gotta throw out any care for your sister's well being and think about the fame and money. True love right there. What are some of her qualities you admire and what does she need to improve on?
Alana: Honestly, my sister is very talented and doesn't even know how good she is. She's also very loyal. I know you might look at someone like her and think she's just a trash cum dump that contracted all sorts of STDs. In fact, you would be very wrong and it also works in her advantages sometimes since people underestimate her. As for what she could work on I would say her snappy know it all attitude, but it must be working!

Tegann: I'd be wrong? Not possible. Has she brought home guys you just hated? Some, you maybe slid into their IM's while she was with them?
Alana: Most of them, especially in this community, I could care less for. I feel like they're all the same... but yes there is one in particular that I strongly dislike. He's just french and black and annoying. That's all I'll say on the matter.

Tegann: Gross. Three strikes right there. What are your thoughts on the guys like Lorenz, Ramos and Fotios...the guys she's been in relationships with?
Alana: Lorenz - A bi-polar nut job. He's just a weird German man that clearly doesn't know what the fuck he wants. He'll add you and make you his wife and post all these happy photos on his Flickr. Then he moves on, but he met his match when he married my sister. (shows the photos of Torrie fucking someone in Lorenz's bed) Nothing more to say about him.... just a sad little cunt.

Ramos - Oh I really don't want to bring any attention to this loser. He was very controlling and delusional. He would find us being tasteless for posing with other men, but his work was considered high end and classy. Just another split personality nut job that's ugly and retarded. He made decent poses, but definitely not worth ever interacting with this psychopath. Girls - STAY AWAY AND RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Fotios - He has been the easiest to get along with and has never shown anything but love for my sister. I will say I want to scream when he asks me to take off my heels though. 

Tegann: Lets hear the story behind the wedding photo with Torrie and Fotios. 
Alana: (smiles as she fans herself) It was a magical day. I saw my sister walk down the isle in a custom made wedding outfit from Hot Topic and Hustler. I was shedding tears, but you couldn't see since I had just had a facial done as well (winks as she licks her bloated fish lips)

Tegann: And quite the facial it was. Where do you see you and your sister in the near future? 
Alana: I would totally like to see myself a bit blonder. As for my sister, she will just be rich and married to god only knows who by then. A lot can happen in a year especially for the Verwood's!

   Spotting Torrie leaving the restroom with a handful of dollars and lifting her dress to cover her massive breasts, Alana abruptly chases after, looking for her cut, and hence ends the interview. This is where I would usually sum up my chat with the lucky celebrity I have featured with some nicer words, but honestly, I'm at a lost for words. Could the girls of SL have gotten even more wild and debaucherous than my last post, over 3 years ago? I certainly think so and these Verwood sisters are leading the charge. 

   Haven't have enough of these two sexy bimbos? Well, I got a surprise for you. It's the SL Queen of Plastic; the original slutty barbie; the woman whose legs close less than a Las Vegas casino; and the mother of the Verwood sister's, Harlee Fallen. Between super hung gentlemen, Harlee graciously granted me a few minutes to fill us in on her thoughts on her darling daughters. 

Lovely Harlee doing what she does best

   I asked Harlee a series of "Which of your daughters.." questions to begin. Let's see her replies. 

Tegann: Which of your daughters: 

1. Is most likely to melt in the sun? 
Harlee: Alana. She's got more plastic in her than the Mattel factory dumpsters.

2. Is most likely to catch an STD?
  I'm sure both these sluts have already had numerous STD's, but definitely Torrie. She's allergic to condoms.

3.  Is most  likely to do the most extreme thing for money?
   Torrie is the most greedy bitch I have ever met, so most likely her. Alana will fuck anyone.

4. Is most likely to have her mom's leftovers immediately afterwards?

5. Needs the most therapy? 
   Torrie. I think my selling her a few times when she was 15 for a new pair of Loubi's might have left her with some underlying mental issues.

6. Is most likely to get pregnant....from a poor white guy?

7. Is most likely to become a prison girlfriend?

Tegann: When did you see potential slutty bimbos in your children?
Harlee: Well, I think it was inevitable when they had a role model like me growing up. Let's be honest, they will never be as good as me or hot or even as established, but of course, they can try.

Tegann: Those are some big shoes to fill, but they are obviously trying very hard to get there. What advice did you give your daughters from an early age?
Harlee: Closed legs don't get fed.

Tegann: You don't look hungry whatsoever, Harlee, so definitely words of wisdom there. How proud of you are of what your babies have become?
Harlee: Like totally so proud. Ugh, as you know, being the Queen of Bimbo's, it's so nice to have some quality sluts carrying on my legacy once I'm gone. I'm extremely proud. 

   Such real love and pride among such fake sluts almost brings some warmth to this cold, black heart...almost. Thankfully, I'm free of these 3 blonde, busty, disease ridden beauties, but you don't have to be. For more eye candy and jerk off material of their slutty escapades, visit their Flickr links below. 

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

The "Not So Hidden" Treasure: IVORI FAITH

  We've all seen them. You look across the club and there she is, demanding the attention of the everyone's lustful stare's as she stands there oozing self confidence. Her long, flowing hair draped over her shoulders. Those thick lashes and collagen-filled lips accentuate her face. The fabric of her dress stressed to the max, exposing her ample cleavage. Her curves, those wide hips, intoxicating wiggle of her butt, and those shapely legs....WAIT!! What was that...go back up. Oh My God!!! That beautiful woman you were just imagining in your bed having wild, bed-rocking sex with, has a penis....that the little black dress just can't contain!! Is it real? Oh, it's real! But..but..she..umm he...hmmm I just don't know. Is it a case of gender confusion gone too far or God's work "repaired" to how she feels it should have been? Maybe society isn't ready for such a spectacle, but is it really any different than adding a few CC's into those little titties, a butt enhancement and sucking fat from some areas of your body to add to others? So SLifestyles decided to go inside the head (the one on the shoulders) of one of these beautiful creatures, the ever-so talented sexual being, Ivori Faith. 

Tegann Parx: Welcome Ivori. Many of my readers aren't quite as bright as me, (who am I trying to fool...none are) so I gotta try to help them understand your gender classification. If you are in a restaurant, which restroom do you use?
Ivori Faith: Uh, I use the one that's least busy.

Tegann: Well, that really doesn't help. Ok let's try this one. If you get caught doing some illegal shit that's probably a result of some fucked up psychological shit resulting in your transformation and criminal future, are you getting locked up in a men's or women's prison?
Ivori: Women's prison because even if I don't end up running the joint, they have smaller hands, which make a number of things less uncomfortable...

Tegann: That's good enough for me, so female it is. Ivori, not all those women have small hands. Those bull dykes in there have some thick fingers....but it's not a bad thing. I only know because I am an elite investigative journalist, people! Those were such bogus charges.... When you were born, did you have a basic SL male or female shape?
Ivori: Basic male, then over the years, I got f'n fabulous!

Tegann: It's great to see such an unlikely rise to awesomeness. I was just lucky enough to be born that way, but keep your head up, 99% only dream of reaching it. Which came first, those big boobies or the D?
Ivori: Well, I suppose the boobs, since there was a 'transitional' female avi in between the original male and Ivori.  And no you can't know her name.

Tegann: Who doesn't like boobs more, anyways. Ivori, it really doesn't matter the names of these imaginary friend avatars. The important thing is you got through that messed up part of your life to because this sexy piece of ass or stud that you are today. Do you get hit on by more men or women?
Ivori:  It's about 50/50, though the percentage of doable guys is depressingly lower than it should be.  Perhaps they don't know I made my titties bigger yet.

Tegann: Maybe these guys just don't know what you got... However, I don't think it's possible to miss your "features", Ivori...and I mean ALLLLL of them!!  Which sex do you hit on more?
Ivori: 34% tgirls/ 33% girls/ 33% guys.

Tegann: I guess that truly makes you a mathematical trisexual. My first, although most of the people I feature would certainly "try" anything. How far have you gone with a guy before he knew you were "packing"?
Ivori: Been a while since that happened, but it has.  Lately it's been "Oh I love shemales!  Wait, you have a dick in real life??? Oh I am so outta here!"

Tegann: So, your first blow job. Did you give or receive?
Ivori: Received! 

Tegann: Good girl. For hotness like us, it's doing them a favor to receive their gifts. Who is your dream partner?
Ivori:  A clone of myself.  No wait, 2 clones of myself.

Tegann: Oh wow!! The first that never said me. It's alright, though. Some people have good taste and others don't. How do you hide that freakishly big monster under your skirt?
Ivori:  I studied with the legendary Japanese Transexual Su Shi to learn the ancient art of tucking.

Tegann: That answer sounds kinda fishy. Everyone knows Asians have no reason to tuck their bits. It's rarely visible. Which do you prefer: Boxers, briefs, panties, thongs? 
Ivori: If I must, but seriously, the only ones who should wear these are strippers. Let your bits breathe, people!!

Tegann: Speaking of which, you are an exotic dancer. Have you ever jammed your junk against the stripper pole?
Ivori: That is a risk you accept in this line of work.  If you ever come to one of the clubs I work at (The Chocolate Bar, Kitty Kickers, and Double D's), however, you will notice I dance openly on the stage and not on the pole, so read into that what you want...

Tegann: I thought that was some group for those suffering from anal sex accidents. You are also a very active porn star. How did you get started in porn?
Ivori:  Like everyone else: with Hard Rust pointing a gun at my head.  I kid, I kid... No, I went to a party, and I met Emmanuelle, Serenity and a couple others and they pointed me in the direction of a film maker.  The rest filthy history.

Tegann: Oh, so your 50 year old married neighbor didn't invite you over to a poker game while his wife was outta town, get you drunk and stoned and next thing you know, you are on porn sites with more pricks surrounding you than a porcupine...Umm me either. Who are your inspirations in the porn world? 
Ivori:  Oh man... there's so many.  In SL my superstars series is covering those. (Ivori's Flickr Plug) Also, Sarina Valentina, Bailey Jay, Carla Novaes, Mia Isabella, Vaniity, Ana Mancini and many others.

Tegann: A tranny porn fiend, I see!! What has been the highlight of your SL? 
Ivori: In all seriousness, the fact that I have had a number of tgirls come up to me and tell me I inspired them to get into porn.  It's awesome knowing that someone saw me and said "After I'm done masturbating, I wanna do that too!"

Tegann: You inspire them to follow down a road of disease infested sex for minimal pay and no health care, but hey, as long as they rise up that ladder to become a well known video whore. You should be proud. When you masturbate, do grope your boobs and jerk off at the same time? 
Ivori: What?  What the hell kind of question is that?  Weirdo.  Just kidding. No, not usually.

Tegann: Geez, why the fuck not?? What do you like to do when you aren't shooting and starring in porn?
Ivori: It's usually stripping/escorting/findom related, apart from shopping and those rare occasions when I actually get time to spend with my friends...

Tegann: So whoring yourself for money...and spending it. You know how to have a good time! What's the downside of being the hottest tgirl in the SL porn world?
Ivori: Well, there's the people who think that I'm some stuck up bitch because of it.  I am, bigtime.  But I don't want you to think that.  The marriage proposals are kinda weird, and the guys who wanna be my sugar daddy, but not let me continue in the lifestyle that drew them to me, kinda pisses me off.  You wanna be that guy, then don't be 'that guy'. 

Tegann: Unless they wanna be that "girl"!!  How often do "alpha males" want to be bent over and rode like a pony in heat?
Ivori:  Lord, I could tell you stories (and after you sign a confidentiality agreement, I will).  The thing is, it's really not that big a deal.  If guys knew how good things can be when you make friends with your prostate, they'd all been doing it.  Add in that it's SL, and one of the big points with SL is to live a life that's not a carbon fucking copy of the one you live when you log off.  So knock off the macho posturing and take a dick in the ass.  It's good for you, and I promise, I will be gentle.

Tegann: Wow. Those dominant male types are actually SL biggest bitches. That's breaking news....  You are openly accepting sugga mamas and sugga daddies. Your profile says " Wanna get my attention? Dropping gifts here works". What are the best and worst gifts you received?
Ivori: Worst gifts? Freebie clothes (I think the made them and wanted me to model them if I recall... Best gift? Well, Marilyn always said Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but in SL, lindens speak volumes.  Let's just say it was a lot.

Tegann: Oh, I've been given car lots too. No big deal. What would 1000L buy? 20,000L? A set of double D's and a sandwich?
Ivori: 1000?  A lil bit of a lap grind.  You're gonna get groped.  But that's (rolling with the food analogies here :p ) 20K? 20K gets you the 'Your Girlfriend's Out Of Town For The Weekend' Experience...

Tegann: So he doesn't have to shower and you don't nag and bitch at him. Can't he just do that for free? OK, tell me a fantasy you have yet to fulfill in SL?
Ivori: There's a few: gangbang is one one of them, but the biggest one is riding Hard Rust like a rented mule.

Tegann: Now that getting interviewed by a true SL goddess is off the list, of course. Where do you see Ivori Faith 5 years from now?
Ivori: Hopefully not still in SL because y'all are a bunch of sick motherfuckers...

Tegann: We are. We love seeing juicy gossip...the more messed up, the better. Any scandalous confessions/secrets you would like to get off that big tittied chest of yours and share exclusively with me and my readers?
Ivori: Scandalous confessions?  After this interview I don't think I have anything left (laughs).  I guess I just wanna say a) I'm sorry about my dick being bigger than yours and b) just remember, after you've had the best sex of your SL life, if you weren't thinking about me during it, there's a good chance your partner was.  Now... come over here n gimme a kiss, T.

   And who am I to refuse that request. Well, I am the Tegann Parx, star of the world of Second Life, but maybe I just wanna. Now that you have a better understanding of Shemales around you, go suck a tranny dick while you get a handful of those big fake titties and give them a big anal welcome into your second life. 

   In case you aren't ready for that just yet, go enjoy Ivori's hot body in her SL Porn:

Monday, 30 June 2014

Coming Out??

Get your attention???

     Once upon a time in a not so far away land of Second Life, a princess was born to King and Queen Linden. Growing up, she always knew there was something special about her. She quickly realized she was so much talented, smarter, funnier, and, of course, more beautiful than any of the other girls. Before too long, her IM box filled up with naughty messages from the men of SL, hoping to win the princess over. However, with the endless masculine attention, came the spiteful messages of the jealous witches. Through almost 2200 days and as many attacks on her immaculate reputation, she battled the witches to persevered to become Queen of the Sims and rule over her thousands and thousands of puppets... or minions...or people...whatever you are. Oh and for all of you who have been in comas, that queen is me, Tegann Parx.

     For any who haven't perved my profile daily (I know there isn't many), you probably have noticed that I've never taken a prince. Though the majority have tried, even ones who were willing to abandon their wives and kids (as if I'd ever have some bitch's offspring messing up my life of luxury), none have succeeded. Why, you may ask. Well, besides the obvious answer that there's few able to live up to my standards, perhaps there's more. Maybe, just maybe, I like the taste of lip gloss after a kiss to the taste of stale beer. Or how you wake up to a soft body laying against you to a hairy one snoring in your ear. Could it be I prefer to watch a beautiful body made with God's delicate workmanship walking across the room than the Lord's leftovers scratching his balls and leaving a trail of bodily scents behind him. Ooooorr is it that SL is just full of these guys, for example:

December 18, 2009  9:36PM  West Hollywood, CA

   While being chauffeured down Santa Monica Boulevard, the stupid driver has the worst time to have a heart attack. Being an incredible fitness model at the time, I decide to walk. Through the drug dealers and prostitutes, a stranger approaches. Reaching into my purse, through the wads of Franklins, I grab my taser.  
Cracked Out Pimp: Hey girl. There is a party I am arranging, but the only way to be invited is to suck off one of my guys. After sucking him off he will give you a ticket for our closed party. Are you in? (As if!! Who in their right mind would fall for this?? Who is "one of his guys"? Friends? Boyfriends? Tranny hookers? Being curious about this party, I decide to outsmart him...not a hard task)
Tegann:  I want to get invited to the party....but this sounds like a trick. How about you give me 50000L and I give you a blow job? When I get into the party, I'll give the 50000 back to you.
C.O.P: Trick?!?! Well, anyways we don't have enough empty spots anymore. (Wow, that was quick. The willingness to give blowjobs must have been in high demand that day. Sluts in the Christmas spirit or has this guy been had??) Maybe next time, Tegann... (Yes, I guess I was already world renowned in a few months of my SL arrival)

May 5, 2010 2:54PM  Detroit, MI, USA

    Around this time, I was well on my way to the top. I mean, I was in the elite .01% which is so much better than most could hope for, but wasn't there yet. I decided to give back to the starving children of the world so I went to the darkest, poorest corner of the earth, Detroit, Michigan (A well paid special appearance unlike those other volunteer losers with nothing better to do). While there I was approached by a guy who started with an actual compliment....and did a serious nose dive from there...

Damien: Hi, I'm Damien. You are one sexy lady, for sure. (Though an obvious statement, a good start)
Tegann: Thanks. I'm...well you already know who I am.
Damien: Hell girl, your body looks like a walking piece of art to touch. (Again, nothing I didn't know...wait! Touch??)
Tegann: Nope, nothing here for you to touch. 
Damien: Now that kinda messes with my head. (He actually thought he'd touch me!! He must be crazy so I would drive him a little closer to the nut house)
Tegann: Well, I do touch it lots. Can you blame me?
Damien: Now that I can imagine. Is it still abuse if you do it to yourself?
Tegann: No, why would I ever abuse a beautiful body like this.
Damien: I guess it all depends on your take on abuse, but hard, rough use of that body should be made law. (Hey, I knew you looked familiar)

Tegann: So, you wanna beat me up?
Damien: Only with the hard thing swelling between my legs. (Did we skip dinner, movie, kiss...a hello)
Tegann:  I don't think being hurt is sexy though.
Damien: And again, that depends on what you call pain. For me to get my hands on that fine body of yours to fuck you hard and wild is only going hurt if you are real tight or I am real stupid. (I wonder which...)
Tegann: I don't want to get hurt. Why do you keep insisting on harming my body?

Damien: Gotta love a smartass and you are a smart one. (Fuck feeding those starving little bastards, I'm outta here)

March 23, 2011  4:12PM Daytona Beach, FL, USA

    After continuously fighting off the opposite sex for a few years, I decided to let loose and be a dirty girl. I travel to the land of alligators and rednecks where the smell of Ben Gay fills the air for a week of drunken debauchery, Spring Break. As I was walking to the beach, I'm approached by this drunken frat boy...

Marcus: Hey! How are you? (Fuck it all, today is this guy's lucky day)
Drunk Tegann: Hi. I'm horny as fuck!
Marcus: Damn. I'm always hard when I'm horny. (I take it his major isn't biology)
Tegann: That's anatomy for ya!!
Marcus: Yep, how are you planning on dealing with it? (As he puts his arm around me, I'm pretty much holding him up. The smell of booze and weed are evident. Hell, what was I thinking..)
Tegann: I invented this new kind of sex. You see that car over there? Well I blindfold you, put you in the driver seat and when I say I'm naked, you start it. When I scream "Oh fuck, baby!! Harder!!", you really rev the engine. Got it?
Marcus: Got it!! (This guy is actually falling for it. Must be from UCLA)
Tegann: Have you ever done it this way before? 
Marcus: Nope.
Tegann: I'm kinda looking for someone experienced but if quickly go to your garage, close the door tight and practice, we can meet again soon....

July 19th, 2011 11:37pm Ibiza, Spain

  So, by this time, I decided I had enough of American men. I wanted a hot Spanish man to sweep me off my feet with that sexy accent. I had heard the wildest parties were in Ibiza so I decided to check a few clubs out. It wasn't long before a well dressed handsome man slips through the crowd for his chance to speak to me...

Apollo: (slaps my butt) Hey there!! (What the hell happened to romance...and that accent....oh my god!! I think I'm gonna puke. He isn't Spanish. He's Greek...)
Tegann: What gives you the right to touch me?
Apollo: But it's so soft and sexy... (Yes it is but...ugh I can't believe I was actually touched by a Greek. Another day scrubbing and crying in the shower tomorrow)
Tegann: So, by that logic, that gives everyone here has the right to spank it?
Apollo: I talk about myself. (Can't carry a conversation in English. This could be fun, actually.)

Tegann: Wait, you're soft and sexy?
Apollo: Me?? 
Tegann: You just said you were talking about yourself. 
Apollo: Yes. (Obviously not a doctor back in Greece. Probably some lame ass wrestler or comic store nerd.)
Tegann: Well, since you say you're soft and sexy, doesn't that give me the right to slap you? (As if I'd ever touch a Greek male again)
Apollo: No, to slap your sexy ass. (This guy is brain dead. Must be something in the water there. And he hasn't even offered to buy me a drink which means he's either poor or cheap like the rest)
Tegann: You talk in riddles.
Apollo: I talk about myself slapping your ass. Why I slapped it. Because it's sexy and soft. (It's actually good that he wants to talk about suicide before he commits it if he thinks he's laying another hand on me)
Tegann: I thought you said you were the soft and sexy one.
Apollo: No, but do you like big cock?

Tegann: This conversation just convinced me that I do not.

June 2, 2012  5:24am Las Vegas, NV, USA

   By 2012, I almost had given up for my search for the luckiest prince alive. The guys just weren't cutting it. They were either too sly, too shy, or too bi.... Then I finally met an outgoing, honest guy who loves to have sex with women. None of those in a good way, I should add. 

Luiz: (blows me a kiss) 
Tegann: Wow that was a hot one.
Luiz: Not my first one, honey. (A frequent kiss first)
Tegann: I bet. You're a womanizer, huh?
Luiz: You can say that, I guess. (laughs)
Tegann: I see you are in alot of rape groups. Do you like to get raped or rape women?
Luiz: I used to enjoy forced sex here. I'm just not in the mood anymore, you know? (Ummm nope I don't know, actually)
Tegann: Yes, but which do you like. You like to get ass raped is my guess
Luiz: I prefer raping to getting raped (laughs again) 
Tegann: Oh good. The other would just be weird.
Luiz: Yeah, not my type. Where did you go? I can't see you. (As I hide behind a hooker until the bitch pushes me away. I gotta act normal)
Tegann: Here I am. I just wanted to make sure you were a cool guy. 
Luiz: Oh really? I'll take that as a compliment, huh?
Tegann: That you are cool because you rape women instead to taking it in the butt?
Luiz: Like I said, I'm not into that anymore. I just got tired of it, you know? (Don't run Tegann. He might enjoy the chase)
Tegann: Oh I understand. The sound of screaming women must get so annoying....or is that the part you liked?
Luiz: It was interesting. It just got kinda boring. (Boring?? Whats next to spice up his life??)
Tegann: Maybe you could like beat the hell outta them first and tied them in your basement for a few days before you rape them now....I dunno. You're the pro.
Luiz: Hmmm. Like I said, for the third time, it's not what I do now. (I think I'm pissing him off. That's not good. Well, unless I get him to attack me, shoot him and claim self defense. Sounds like a plan)
Tegann: Maybe if you rape a sister. I see you're in incest groups too so just combine them. 
Luiz: Hmmm. I'm trying to understand your point with all this talk.
Tegann: Just trying to help with your sexual lifestyle.
Luiz: I'm ok, but thanks. (You, sir, are 100% not ok)
Tegann: Maybe kill the girl first and have sex with her body. 
Luiz: You're being annoying and very rude. Have a great night. (Hmm My plan isn't working. Maybe I'll tempt him)
Tegann: What if I bend over in that dark alley and scream when you come behind me? (Luiz starts to walk away). Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were mexican and look just like pool boy, which could be bad for me. 
Luiz: Oh yeah. First of all, I'm Brazilian. (Oh no. He didn't say he WASN'T my pool boy)

Tegann: I apologize. I don't want you to pee in my pool...or worse, rape me....again. Well, the first time, I realize I left the door open once I was naked and called you into my room and after an hour of hot, sweaty sex, you asked me to stop...but hey, you were the one who was charged. 

Oct 31, 2013 7:49pm Facebook

      It's Halloween and a full moon so the crazies were out in full force. While sitting in my goddess costume (everyday attire...I actually went to the party as a nudist later that night. It's ok to take a minute to pleasure yourself at the thought...and it should only take a minute.), I decided to update my Facebook Fan Page when I saw a friend request. My private account is well hidden so I found this strange. The guy was pretty cute, he was well dressed in his pics and he could spell....a trio or rarity among most men. I accepted and the next day, I get a message....

Randalph: Hey, down for some RP? (Roleplay?? Roleplay?? As in the sexual kind? I could get off alot easier with my fingers and eyes than roleplaying, you dummy)
Tegann: I'm sorry, but I rarely roleplay.
Randalph: Then why the fuck did you add me, you dumb bitch? (Clearly this guy added the wrong person because nobody swears at me and none of those words apply to me, as you all know)
Tegann: You were the dumb bitch that thought I'd RP with you on command if I did
Randalph: That's all women are good for. Doing what they're told because they're worthless, dumb sluts. (Yes, this was actually sent to ME!!)
Tegann: So you are gay?
Randalph:  And you're not even good for that, so consider killing yourself, pig. (Pigs can turn veggies into bacon so is he now complimenting me? He sounds like he has problems so Dr. Parx to the rescue)
Tegann: Sounds like your mom ran off with the mailman. Did that lead you to hating women? Maybe a girl saw how much of a loser you were and dated someone else? Talk to me...lets find where the hate stems from and make you all better!! If that fails, maybe we can pray the gay away??

    (Raldaph has never returned my therapy offer. If anyone knows the whereabout of this ill individual, contact your local mental health hospital or run him down with your car...repeatedly.)

May 17, 2014  1:32pm Some bitch kid's birthday party

      After receiving million and millions of fan letters from little Tegannators whose only dream is to be me when they grow up, I thought I would give back to my young fans. After settling on a 5 year old girl, whose parents just happened to be able to cover my 100K appearance fee, I attended her birthday party. While sneaking out of the party from the screaming little fucks for a quick drink, I'm quickly followed by this goofy looking black guy. I quickly recognize him as the creepy clown. 

Bobo De Klown Oxygen: Hello. (He can speak. I guess he is smarter than he looks at least. He kinda looks like that mutant rat from the Ninja Turtles)
Tegann: Hey...
Bobo De Klown Oxygen: You like Beaches? (Not only is he ugly as fuck but he's a Bette Midler fan as well)
Tegann: The movie?
Bobo De Klown Oxygen: What? No! Beaches, Tropical Settings!! (I'm not a lame ass over 40 fag so I don't know much about Bette Midler's work)
Tegann: Is that like part two?
Bobo De Klown Oxygen: Yes. Want to suck my cock as we watch it? (Trying to be a smartass doesn't really work when you are an idiot)
Tegann: Nah, I never liked the first one. (As if I'd ever waste my time with a broke ass gay clown!!)

   So, hopefully from the above examples, and without showing you the thousands of others similar, you will understand why a girl as amazing as me would prefer others just as amazing. Sorry guys, but you just don't make that cut. I would also like to apologize for not sharing the other half of why I keep women handcuffed to my bedposts instead of men, but this site is not X-rated. If I showed those conversations, pictures and videos, it would likely turn every woman lesbian, therefore no more pregnancy and hence, the end of mankind. It would be pretty cool to have the Apocolypse named after me, but I'm sure men have some place in this world. To be continued when I find out what....

   T. Parx out, bitchezz!!
(Pic by Meg Corral)