Wednesday, 30 July 2014

The "Not So Hidden" Treasure: IVORI FAITH

  We've all seen them. You look across the club and there she is, demanding the attention of the everyone's lustful stare's as she stands there oozing self confidence. Her long, flowing hair draped over her shoulders. Those thick lashes and collagen-filled lips accentuate her face. The fabric of her dress stressed to the max, exposing her ample cleavage. Her curves, those wide hips, intoxicating wiggle of her butt, and those shapely legs....WAIT!! What was that...go back up. Oh My God!!! That beautiful woman you were just imagining in your bed having wild, bed-rocking sex with, has a penis....that the little black dress just can't contain!! Is it real? Oh, it's real! But..but..she..umm he...hmmm I just don't know. Is it a case of gender confusion gone too far or God's work "repaired" to how she feels it should have been? Maybe society isn't ready for such a spectacle, but is it really any different than adding a few CC's into those little titties, a butt enhancement and sucking fat from some areas of your body to add to others? So SLifestyles decided to go inside the head (the one on the shoulders) of one of these beautiful creatures, the ever-so talented sexual being, Ivori Faith. 

Tegann Parx: Welcome Ivori. Many of my readers aren't quite as bright as me, (who am I trying to fool...none are) so I gotta try to help them understand your gender classification. If you are in a restaurant, which restroom do you use?
Ivori Faith: Uh, I use the one that's least busy.

Tegann: Well, that really doesn't help. Ok let's try this one. If you get caught doing some illegal shit that's probably a result of some fucked up psychological shit resulting in your transformation and criminal future, are you getting locked up in a men's or women's prison?
Ivori: Women's prison because even if I don't end up running the joint, they have smaller hands, which make a number of things less uncomfortable...

Tegann: That's good enough for me, so female it is. Ivori, not all those women have small hands. Those bull dykes in there have some thick fingers....but it's not a bad thing. I only know because I am an elite investigative journalist, people! Those were such bogus charges.... When you were born, did you have a basic SL male or female shape?
Ivori: Basic male, then over the years, I got f'n fabulous!

Tegann: It's great to see such an unlikely rise to awesomeness. I was just lucky enough to be born that way, but keep your head up, 99% only dream of reaching it. Which came first, those big boobies or the D?
Ivori: Well, I suppose the boobs, since there was a 'transitional' female avi in between the original male and Ivori.  And no you can't know her name.

Tegann: Who doesn't like boobs more, anyways. Ivori, it really doesn't matter the names of these imaginary friend avatars. The important thing is you got through that messed up part of your life to because this sexy piece of ass or stud that you are today. Do you get hit on by more men or women?
Ivori:  It's about 50/50, though the percentage of doable guys is depressingly lower than it should be.  Perhaps they don't know I made my titties bigger yet.

Tegann: Maybe these guys just don't know what you got... However, I don't think it's possible to miss your "features", Ivori...and I mean ALLLLL of them!!  Which sex do you hit on more?
Ivori: 34% tgirls/ 33% girls/ 33% guys.

Tegann: I guess that truly makes you a mathematical trisexual. My first, although most of the people I feature would certainly "try" anything. How far have you gone with a guy before he knew you were "packing"?
Ivori: Been a while since that happened, but it has.  Lately it's been "Oh I love shemales!  Wait, you have a dick in real life??? Oh I am so outta here!"

Tegann: So, your first blow job. Did you give or receive?
Ivori: Received! 

Tegann: Good girl. For hotness like us, it's doing them a favor to receive their gifts. Who is your dream partner?
Ivori:  A clone of myself.  No wait, 2 clones of myself.

Tegann: Oh wow!! The first that never said me. It's alright, though. Some people have good taste and others don't. How do you hide that freakishly big monster under your skirt?
Ivori:  I studied with the legendary Japanese Transexual Su Shi to learn the ancient art of tucking.

Tegann: That answer sounds kinda fishy. Everyone knows Asians have no reason to tuck their bits. It's rarely visible. Which do you prefer: Boxers, briefs, panties, thongs? 
Ivori: If I must, but seriously, the only ones who should wear these are strippers. Let your bits breathe, people!!

Tegann: Speaking of which, you are an exotic dancer. Have you ever jammed your junk against the stripper pole?
Ivori: That is a risk you accept in this line of work.  If you ever come to one of the clubs I work at (The Chocolate Bar, Kitty Kickers, and Double D's), however, you will notice I dance openly on the stage and not on the pole, so read into that what you want...

Tegann: I thought that was some group for those suffering from anal sex accidents. You are also a very active porn star. How did you get started in porn?
Ivori:  Like everyone else: with Hard Rust pointing a gun at my head.  I kid, I kid... No, I went to a party, and I met Emmanuelle, Serenity and a couple others and they pointed me in the direction of a film maker.  The rest filthy history.

Tegann: Oh, so your 50 year old married neighbor didn't invite you over to a poker game while his wife was outta town, get you drunk and stoned and next thing you know, you are on porn sites with more pricks surrounding you than a porcupine...Umm me either. Who are your inspirations in the porn world? 
Ivori:  Oh man... there's so many.  In SL my superstars series is covering those. (Ivori's Flickr Plug) Also, Sarina Valentina, Bailey Jay, Carla Novaes, Mia Isabella, Vaniity, Ana Mancini and many others.

Tegann: A tranny porn fiend, I see!! What has been the highlight of your SL? 
Ivori: In all seriousness, the fact that I have had a number of tgirls come up to me and tell me I inspired them to get into porn.  It's awesome knowing that someone saw me and said "After I'm done masturbating, I wanna do that too!"

Tegann: You inspire them to follow down a road of disease infested sex for minimal pay and no health care, but hey, as long as they rise up that ladder to become a well known video whore. You should be proud. When you masturbate, do grope your boobs and jerk off at the same time? 
Ivori: What?  What the hell kind of question is that?  Weirdo.  Just kidding. No, not usually.

Tegann: Geez, why the fuck not?? What do you like to do when you aren't shooting and starring in porn?
Ivori: It's usually stripping/escorting/findom related, apart from shopping and those rare occasions when I actually get time to spend with my friends...

Tegann: So whoring yourself for money...and spending it. You know how to have a good time! What's the downside of being the hottest tgirl in the SL porn world?
Ivori: Well, there's the people who think that I'm some stuck up bitch because of it.  I am, bigtime.  But I don't want you to think that.  The marriage proposals are kinda weird, and the guys who wanna be my sugar daddy, but not let me continue in the lifestyle that drew them to me, kinda pisses me off.  You wanna be that guy, then don't be 'that guy'. 

Tegann: Unless they wanna be that "girl"!!  How often do "alpha males" want to be bent over and rode like a pony in heat?
Ivori:  Lord, I could tell you stories (and after you sign a confidentiality agreement, I will).  The thing is, it's really not that big a deal.  If guys knew how good things can be when you make friends with your prostate, they'd all been doing it.  Add in that it's SL, and one of the big points with SL is to live a life that's not a carbon fucking copy of the one you live when you log off.  So knock off the macho posturing and take a dick in the ass.  It's good for you, and I promise, I will be gentle.

Tegann: Wow. Those dominant male types are actually SL biggest bitches. That's breaking news....  You are openly accepting sugga mamas and sugga daddies. Your profile says " Wanna get my attention? Dropping gifts here works". What are the best and worst gifts you received?
Ivori: Worst gifts? Freebie clothes (I think the made them and wanted me to model them if I recall... Best gift? Well, Marilyn always said Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but in SL, lindens speak volumes.  Let's just say it was a lot.

Tegann: Oh, I've been given car lots too. No big deal. What would 1000L buy? 20,000L? A set of double D's and a sandwich?
Ivori: 1000?  A lil bit of a lap grind.  You're gonna get groped.  But that's (rolling with the food analogies here :p ) 20K? 20K gets you the 'Your Girlfriend's Out Of Town For The Weekend' Experience...

Tegann: So he doesn't have to shower and you don't nag and bitch at him. Can't he just do that for free? OK, tell me a fantasy you have yet to fulfill in SL?
Ivori: There's a few: gangbang is one one of them, but the biggest one is riding Hard Rust like a rented mule.

Tegann: Now that getting interviewed by a true SL goddess is off the list, of course. Where do you see Ivori Faith 5 years from now?
Ivori: Hopefully not still in SL because y'all are a bunch of sick motherfuckers...

Tegann: We are. We love seeing juicy gossip...the more messed up, the better. Any scandalous confessions/secrets you would like to get off that big tittied chest of yours and share exclusively with me and my readers?
Ivori: Scandalous confessions?  After this interview I don't think I have anything left (laughs).  I guess I just wanna say a) I'm sorry about my dick being bigger than yours and b) just remember, after you've had the best sex of your SL life, if you weren't thinking about me during it, there's a good chance your partner was.  Now... come over here n gimme a kiss, T.

   And who am I to refuse that request. Well, I am the Tegann Parx, star of the world of Second Life, but maybe I just wanna. Now that you have a better understanding of Shemales around you, go suck a tranny dick while you get a handful of those big fake titties and give them a big anal welcome into your second life. 

   In case you aren't ready for that just yet, go enjoy Ivori's hot body in her SL Porn:

Monday, 30 June 2014

Coming Out??

Get your attention???

     Once upon a time in a not so far away land of Second Life, a princess was born to King and Queen Linden. Growing up, she always knew there was something special about her. She quickly realized she was so much talented, smarter, funnier, and, of course, more beautiful than any of the other girls. Before too long, her IM box filled up with naughty messages from the men of SL, hoping to win the princess over. However, with the endless masculine attention, came the spiteful messages of the jealous witches. Through almost 2200 days and as many attacks on her immaculate reputation, she battled the witches to persevered to become Queen of the Sims and rule over her thousands and thousands of puppets... or minions...or people...whatever you are. Oh and for all of you who have been in comas, that queen is me, Tegann Parx.

     For any who haven't perved my profile daily (I know there isn't many), you probably have noticed that I've never taken a prince. Though the majority have tried, even ones who were willing to abandon their wives and kids (as if I'd ever have some bitch's offspring messing up my life of luxury), none have succeeded. Why, you may ask. Well, besides the obvious answer that there's few able to live up to my standards, perhaps there's more. Maybe, just maybe, I like the taste of lip gloss after a kiss to the taste of stale beer. Or how you wake up to a soft body laying against you to a hairy one snoring in your ear. Could it be I prefer to watch a beautiful body made with God's delicate workmanship walking across the room than the Lord's leftovers scratching his balls and leaving a trail of bodily scents behind him. Ooooorr is it that SL is just full of these guys, for example:

December 18, 2009  9:36PM  West Hollywood, CA

   While being chauffeured down Santa Monica Boulevard, the stupid driver has the worst time to have a heart attack. Being an incredible fitness model at the time, I decide to walk. Through the drug dealers and prostitutes, a stranger approaches. Reaching into my purse, through the wads of Franklins, I grab my taser.  
Cracked Out Pimp: Hey girl. There is a party I am arranging, but the only way to be invited is to suck off one of my guys. After sucking him off he will give you a ticket for our closed party. Are you in? (As if!! Who in their right mind would fall for this?? Who is "one of his guys"? Friends? Boyfriends? Tranny hookers? Being curious about this party, I decide to outsmart him...not a hard task)
Tegann:  I want to get invited to the party....but this sounds like a trick. How about you give me 50000L and I give you a blow job? When I get into the party, I'll give the 50000 back to you.
C.O.P: Trick?!?! Well, anyways we don't have enough empty spots anymore. (Wow, that was quick. The willingness to give blowjobs must have been in high demand that day. Sluts in the Christmas spirit or has this guy been had??) Maybe next time, Tegann... (Yes, I guess I was already world renowned in a few months of my SL arrival)

May 5, 2010 2:54PM  Detroit, MI, USA

    Around this time, I was well on my way to the top. I mean, I was in the elite .01% which is so much better than most could hope for, but wasn't there yet. I decided to give back to the starving children of the world so I went to the darkest, poorest corner of the earth, Detroit, Michigan (A well paid special appearance unlike those other volunteer losers with nothing better to do). While there I was approached by a guy who started with an actual compliment....and did a serious nose dive from there...

Damien: Hi, I'm Damien. You are one sexy lady, for sure. (Though an obvious statement, a good start)
Tegann: Thanks. I'm...well you already know who I am.
Damien: Hell girl, your body looks like a walking piece of art to touch. (Again, nothing I didn't know...wait! Touch??)
Tegann: Nope, nothing here for you to touch. 
Damien: Now that kinda messes with my head. (He actually thought he'd touch me!! He must be crazy so I would drive him a little closer to the nut house)
Tegann: Well, I do touch it lots. Can you blame me?
Damien: Now that I can imagine. Is it still abuse if you do it to yourself?
Tegann: No, why would I ever abuse a beautiful body like this.
Damien: I guess it all depends on your take on abuse, but hard, rough use of that body should be made law. (Hey, I knew you looked familiar)

Tegann: So, you wanna beat me up?
Damien: Only with the hard thing swelling between my legs. (Did we skip dinner, movie, kiss...a hello)
Tegann:  I don't think being hurt is sexy though.
Damien: And again, that depends on what you call pain. For me to get my hands on that fine body of yours to fuck you hard and wild is only going hurt if you are real tight or I am real stupid. (I wonder which...)
Tegann: I don't want to get hurt. Why do you keep insisting on harming my body?

Damien: Gotta love a smartass and you are a smart one. (Fuck feeding those starving little bastards, I'm outta here)

March 23, 2011  4:12PM Daytona Beach, FL, USA

    After continuously fighting off the opposite sex for a few years, I decided to let loose and be a dirty girl. I travel to the land of alligators and rednecks where the smell of Ben Gay fills the air for a week of drunken debauchery, Spring Break. As I was walking to the beach, I'm approached by this drunken frat boy...

Marcus: Hey! How are you? (Fuck it all, today is this guy's lucky day)
Drunk Tegann: Hi. I'm horny as fuck!
Marcus: Damn. I'm always hard when I'm horny. (I take it his major isn't biology)
Tegann: That's anatomy for ya!!
Marcus: Yep, how are you planning on dealing with it? (As he puts his arm around me, I'm pretty much holding him up. The smell of booze and weed are evident. Hell, what was I thinking..)
Tegann: I invented this new kind of sex. You see that car over there? Well I blindfold you, put you in the driver seat and when I say I'm naked, you start it. When I scream "Oh fuck, baby!! Harder!!", you really rev the engine. Got it?
Marcus: Got it!! (This guy is actually falling for it. Must be from UCLA)
Tegann: Have you ever done it this way before? 
Marcus: Nope.
Tegann: I'm kinda looking for someone experienced but if quickly go to your garage, close the door tight and practice, we can meet again soon....

July 19th, 2011 11:37pm Ibiza, Spain

  So, by this time, I decided I had enough of American men. I wanted a hot Spanish man to sweep me off my feet with that sexy accent. I had heard the wildest parties were in Ibiza so I decided to check a few clubs out. It wasn't long before a well dressed handsome man slips through the crowd for his chance to speak to me...

Apollo: (slaps my butt) Hey there!! (What the hell happened to romance...and that accent....oh my god!! I think I'm gonna puke. He isn't Spanish. He's Greek...)
Tegann: What gives you the right to touch me?
Apollo: But it's so soft and sexy... (Yes it is but...ugh I can't believe I was actually touched by a Greek. Another day scrubbing and crying in the shower tomorrow)
Tegann: So, by that logic, that gives everyone here has the right to spank it?
Apollo: I talk about myself. (Can't carry a conversation in English. This could be fun, actually.)

Tegann: Wait, you're soft and sexy?
Apollo: Me?? 
Tegann: You just said you were talking about yourself. 
Apollo: Yes. (Obviously not a doctor back in Greece. Probably some lame ass wrestler or comic store nerd.)
Tegann: Well, since you say you're soft and sexy, doesn't that give me the right to slap you? (As if I'd ever touch a Greek male again)
Apollo: No, to slap your sexy ass. (This guy is brain dead. Must be something in the water there. And he hasn't even offered to buy me a drink which means he's either poor or cheap like the rest)
Tegann: You talk in riddles.
Apollo: I talk about myself slapping your ass. Why I slapped it. Because it's sexy and soft. (It's actually good that he wants to talk about suicide before he commits it if he thinks he's laying another hand on me)
Tegann: I thought you said you were the soft and sexy one.
Apollo: No, but do you like big cock?

Tegann: This conversation just convinced me that I do not.

June 2, 2012  5:24am Las Vegas, NV, USA

   By 2012, I almost had given up for my search for the luckiest prince alive. The guys just weren't cutting it. They were either too sly, too shy, or too bi.... Then I finally met an outgoing, honest guy who loves to have sex with women. None of those in a good way, I should add. 

Luiz: (blows me a kiss) 
Tegann: Wow that was a hot one.
Luiz: Not my first one, honey. (A frequent kiss first)
Tegann: I bet. You're a womanizer, huh?
Luiz: You can say that, I guess. (laughs)
Tegann: I see you are in alot of rape groups. Do you like to get raped or rape women?
Luiz: I used to enjoy forced sex here. I'm just not in the mood anymore, you know? (Ummm nope I don't know, actually)
Tegann: Yes, but which do you like. You like to get ass raped is my guess
Luiz: I prefer raping to getting raped (laughs again) 
Tegann: Oh good. The other would just be weird.
Luiz: Yeah, not my type. Where did you go? I can't see you. (As I hide behind a hooker until the bitch pushes me away. I gotta act normal)
Tegann: Here I am. I just wanted to make sure you were a cool guy. 
Luiz: Oh really? I'll take that as a compliment, huh?
Tegann: That you are cool because you rape women instead to taking it in the butt?
Luiz: Like I said, I'm not into that anymore. I just got tired of it, you know? (Don't run Tegann. He might enjoy the chase)
Tegann: Oh I understand. The sound of screaming women must get so annoying....or is that the part you liked?
Luiz: It was interesting. It just got kinda boring. (Boring?? Whats next to spice up his life??)
Tegann: Maybe you could like beat the hell outta them first and tied them in your basement for a few days before you rape them now....I dunno. You're the pro.
Luiz: Hmmm. Like I said, for the third time, it's not what I do now. (I think I'm pissing him off. That's not good. Well, unless I get him to attack me, shoot him and claim self defense. Sounds like a plan)
Tegann: Maybe if you rape a sister. I see you're in incest groups too so just combine them. 
Luiz: Hmmm. I'm trying to understand your point with all this talk.
Tegann: Just trying to help with your sexual lifestyle.
Luiz: I'm ok, but thanks. (You, sir, are 100% not ok)
Tegann: Maybe kill the girl first and have sex with her body. 
Luiz: You're being annoying and very rude. Have a great night. (Hmm My plan isn't working. Maybe I'll tempt him)
Tegann: What if I bend over in that dark alley and scream when you come behind me? (Luiz starts to walk away). Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were mexican and look just like pool boy, which could be bad for me. 
Luiz: Oh yeah. First of all, I'm Brazilian. (Oh no. He didn't say he WASN'T my pool boy)

Tegann: I apologize. I don't want you to pee in my pool...or worse, rape me....again. Well, the first time, I realize I left the door open once I was naked and called you into my room and after an hour of hot, sweaty sex, you asked me to stop...but hey, you were the one who was charged. 

Oct 31, 2013 7:49pm Facebook

      It's Halloween and a full moon so the crazies were out in full force. While sitting in my goddess costume (everyday attire...I actually went to the party as a nudist later that night. It's ok to take a minute to pleasure yourself at the thought...and it should only take a minute.), I decided to update my Facebook Fan Page when I saw a friend request. My private account is well hidden so I found this strange. The guy was pretty cute, he was well dressed in his pics and he could spell....a trio or rarity among most men. I accepted and the next day, I get a message....

Randalph: Hey, down for some RP? (Roleplay?? Roleplay?? As in the sexual kind? I could get off alot easier with my fingers and eyes than roleplaying, you dummy)
Tegann: I'm sorry, but I rarely roleplay.
Randalph: Then why the fuck did you add me, you dumb bitch? (Clearly this guy added the wrong person because nobody swears at me and none of those words apply to me, as you all know)
Tegann: You were the dumb bitch that thought I'd RP with you on command if I did
Randalph: That's all women are good for. Doing what they're told because they're worthless, dumb sluts. (Yes, this was actually sent to ME!!)
Tegann: So you are gay?
Randalph:  And you're not even good for that, so consider killing yourself, pig. (Pigs can turn veggies into bacon so is he now complimenting me? He sounds like he has problems so Dr. Parx to the rescue)
Tegann: Sounds like your mom ran off with the mailman. Did that lead you to hating women? Maybe a girl saw how much of a loser you were and dated someone else? Talk to me...lets find where the hate stems from and make you all better!! If that fails, maybe we can pray the gay away??

    (Raldaph has never returned my therapy offer. If anyone knows the whereabout of this ill individual, contact your local mental health hospital or run him down with your car...repeatedly.)

May 17, 2014  1:32pm Some bitch kid's birthday party

      After receiving million and millions of fan letters from little Tegannators whose only dream is to be me when they grow up, I thought I would give back to my young fans. After settling on a 5 year old girl, whose parents just happened to be able to cover my 100K appearance fee, I attended her birthday party. While sneaking out of the party from the screaming little fucks for a quick drink, I'm quickly followed by this goofy looking black guy. I quickly recognize him as the creepy clown. 

Bobo De Klown Oxygen: Hello. (He can speak. I guess he is smarter than he looks at least. He kinda looks like that mutant rat from the Ninja Turtles)
Tegann: Hey...
Bobo De Klown Oxygen: You like Beaches? (Not only is he ugly as fuck but he's a Bette Midler fan as well)
Tegann: The movie?
Bobo De Klown Oxygen: What? No! Beaches, Tropical Settings!! (I'm not a lame ass over 40 fag so I don't know much about Bette Midler's work)
Tegann: Is that like part two?
Bobo De Klown Oxygen: Yes. Want to suck my cock as we watch it? (Trying to be a smartass doesn't really work when you are an idiot)
Tegann: Nah, I never liked the first one. (As if I'd ever waste my time with a broke ass gay clown!!)

   So, hopefully from the above examples, and without showing you the thousands of others similar, you will understand why a girl as amazing as me would prefer others just as amazing. Sorry guys, but you just don't make that cut. I would also like to apologize for not sharing the other half of why I keep women handcuffed to my bedposts instead of men, but this site is not X-rated. If I showed those conversations, pictures and videos, it would likely turn every woman lesbian, therefore no more pregnancy and hence, the end of mankind. It would be pretty cool to have the Apocolypse named after me, but I'm sure men have some place in this world. To be continued when I find out what....

   T. Parx out, bitchezz!!
(Pic by Meg Corral)

Monday, 9 June 2014

SL Marriage ft Meg Corral

   Throughout my 6 years in SL, I must have gotten proposed to 100 times...daily. Although 99.9%simply aren't good enough for a goddess like me, I have never thought a marriage could ever last. I mean, who needs someone to have to answer to when you get drunk, break into a house and wake up in the middle of a 23 person orgy with one python as a special guest. And then there's always the jealousy, dishonesty, infidelity, and therapy that comes with a partnership. If the guy is old, rich, and terminal, I can see the reasoning behind it, but if the dude's got years to live and the bride to be got no connections to a hitman, who would be foolish enough... my gorgeous, talented friend, Meg Corral, that's who!!

   So, let's meet Meg. She's a Hot Bitch in Charge which is fittingly, also the name of her adult production company (Actually it's Head Bitch in Charge, but my name is so much better). Meg is a multi-talented superstar in the adult industry. A model, photographer, and videographer, Meg's talents are only surpassed by her sexiness... and those gorgeous, bronzed globes that are her amazing breasts. So, why would a woman who could have any man she wanted decide to settle down with one man? Maybe she's on drugs? Maybe the constant porn cock will be enough to satisfy her sexual appetite? Maybe she's gone crazy? Either way, as a great friend, I have decided to put aside my limousine riding, Dom Perignon sipping, red carpet walking lifestyle and pick up my pen once more to show her the disaster that is The Second Life Marriage. 

   To show how the common people of SL view marriage and, in particular, Meg's upcoming nuptials, I hit the grid to show what a bad idea this is. First off, I met Skeletor, a sharp dressed black man with signs of aging in his face. This man obviously knows the woes of a nagging wife and countless mistresses, so I approach him. 

Tegann: Hey handsome, I know I don't need to introduce myself so I'll get right to it. How many times have you been married?
Skeletor: 4 times. 
Tegann: Wow, so you're a pro...and just who I need. How long did the torture last?
Skeletor: Quite some time
Tegann: In other words, too long but still not as long as they seemed as the months of "eternal marital bliss" creeped by. Why did they end?
Skeletor: Different reasons. First wife, I couldn't keep my dick in my pants. Second wife, I got tired of her spending and adding members to our family. Third wife, I got tired of her jealousy. Fourth marriage, we just wanted different things. 
Tegann: Sounds like a history of misery thanks to a walk down the aisle. Did the girls change once you put a ring on it?
Skeletor: Yes, they always do. 
Tegann: Crazy ass brides. More importantly, did the sex life change?
Skeletor: No, not really. 
Tegann: Crazy ass nympho brides. Upon further research, maybe the sex didn't change, but the frequency dropped drastically (Ref: Tegann Parx's Infinite Book of Knowledge Vol. 37). Based on your knowledge of failed relationships and the countless hours jerking it to internet porn, do you believe a wedding involved an adult starlet could ever last?
Skeletor: Depends on that person, but very rarely, it would despite what people say. I've had girls that said, "Skel, I can handle you being with other girls.", but when it all came down to it, they couldn't. Saying and doing are two different things. 
Tegann: Oh Meg, what have you gotten yourself into know. How many times did you cheat on your wives?
Skeletor: I don't know. I'm polygamous...I love pussy. I just like to fuck. 
Tegann: Who doesn't!! So, why get married in the first place?
Skeletor: I was in love and thought it would work. 
Tegann: Goes to show you don't learn your lesson easily. Love schmuv.... has a tendency to ruin fun with everything. If you had a friend who was getting married, how would you stop it?
Skeletor: You can't, it's their choice. I'm not saying marriage is a bad thing, but definitely not for everyone, especially me. 
Tegann: I disagree, I can do anything and as a friend as awesome as I am, I think it's really OUR choice. Ok, so if you are as stubborn as me and so much smarter than everyone else you surround yourself with, what way would you terminate this ill-fated relationship?
Skeletor: Then I would be honest and voice my concerns. 
Tegann: Well, that's the boring way. I prefer trickery and scheming works best and gives much quicker results. 
Skeletor: You're never thanked for it, though. It causes drama an-
Tegann: Shush. So, drugging him and taking a video of us together in compromising positions and sending it to her won't work?
Skeletor: Maybe that'll do it. However, she may be able to tell he's been drugged an--
Tegann: Enough!! God, this interview has taken a bad turn. So can you think of anything that would ruin her happiness and get me in her pants? 
Skeletor:  Oh lord, you're planning on stealing her? You're messed up. 
Tegann: What?!?! I'm no homewrecker!!
Skeletor: Yet, you're trying to set up this guy so you can fuck his wife.
Tegann: Hold up!! This doesn't make me a bad person... it actually makes me a great friend. 

   Next up on the research tour was a place where married couples get together to discuss their lives and show each other what makes each other content in their sorry ass relationships, a swingers club. Upon, my arrival I am looked at like a juicy T-bone amid a pack of hungry wolves, but quickly greeted by a couple, Tank and Amy. 

Amy: Hi and welcome to our club. 
Tank: I can't help but notice those big tits of yours.
Tegann: Thank you, Amy. I was hoping you can answer some questions I had and Tank, maybe, with the right advice, I can arrange for you to have a bigger pair of beautiful brown boobs for you to play with. 
Tank: I don't want any tits. I'm a man. 
Tegann: Ummm okayyy. Not really what I was talking about but whatever. I have this friend who is planning on getting married in a couple of months and I think it's a bad idea. Maybe you guys can help. Here's a pic, take a look. 

Tank: She's hot. 
Tegann: Yeah, those are actually the boobs I was talking about. 
Tank: Oh, I would suck on those. 
Amy: Tegann, do you like girls? 
Tegann: My friend does. Ugh. I know I'm probably the hottest girl that's ever walked in here and you all want to have sex with me but this is about Meg. If I ever get her drunk and bring her down here, do you think you can possibly steal her away from her man?
Amy: I wouldn't try. You should support your friend and her marriage. If it is, in fact, a mistake, she will figure that out on her own and learn from it. 
Tegann: What the hell, Amy. If you are going to give crap advice, just go over there and suck a cock. Beside, that shit would take too long. 
Amy: Well honestly, if you are a true friend, you'll stand by her no matter what and be there for her if it falls apart.
Tegann: Amy... just zip it. I plan on getting the rebound sex, but all that other shit is just verbal diarrhea. Get lost. Ok Tank, you are more her type anyways with those tattoos and greasy hair. How would you get Meg to be unfaithful to her fiance?
Tank:  I'd ask her if she wanted to have a threesome with Amy and I. 
Tegann: Hmm she's pretty freaky but asking gives her an option of saying no...and who knows what Amy will say with all that "support your friend" nonsense. 
Tank: If I do this, can I have sex with you? 
Tegann: I'll tell you what. If you succeed, I will let you have sex with Tegann Parx, the life size cardboard cutout. 
Tank: No dice, hun. 
Tegann: What if I cut a little hole in it and hold a warm pie behind it. I'll even make sex sounds whenever I can keep from gagging? 
Tank: I can have sex with any woman here and I don't even like pie. 
Tegann: But I'm not just any woman. I'm the Tegann Parx. My cutout is the best date, though. She don't even care if you eat the pie first. 
Tank: I'll eat your pie.

   Noticing, I have taken the wrong approach to this whole Meg situation, I decided to focus on her interests. Well, maybe multiple sex partners is up her alley, but I need a more direct solution to the problem. Hence, I head to Little Italy and find me most Italian man I could ever imagine. Standing 5'4, tanned, and needing a shave with his hair slicked back, Alberto, 38, interrupted his mafia meeting in his mom's house to talk to me. Wiping the spaghetti sauce from his mouth, he kisses my hand and gives me a rose as he greets me. 

Tegann: Hey Alberto. Thank you for taking the time away from eating pizza and kissing your mom, or whatever you people do. 
Alberto: Hello, Tegann. It's a pleasure to be in the company of such a beautiful woman. What brings you here today?
Tegann: I'm looking for a good man to sweep my friend off her feet. Well, just long enough to bang her and ruin her engagement. Not to fall in love or I'll have to do all this shit again. 
Alberto: Tell me about this friend. 
Tegann: Here's a picture...

Alberto: Her name is Meg.
Tegann: Yes!! You already know her?
Alberto: It says on the picture. 
Tegann: You seem almost too smart. You sure you're Italian? Anyways, I need someone to break up her relationship. I figured Italian men have no conscience as long as it leads to getting laid so here I am hoping you share some things in common before I introduce you.
Alberto: Oh, I see. I am originally from Jersey. I like to tan and...
Tegann: Yeah yeah... Like I said, I just need you to ruin her bed. Have you ever whacked it to Honey Boo Boo's mom?
Alberto: Well, no. Who would do that?
Tegann: Meg does. Damn. I thought it could be a good idea for a first date. 
Alberto: Isn't it kinda weird she does that?
Tegann: She's a porn star....a kinky one. 
Alberto: I see that. I don't think I can help you Miss Parx. I need to go comb my hair and it's been almost an hour since I talked to my mama mia. I wish you luck. 

As I was leaving, I ran into another meatball. A little more "manly" than Meg is used to but maybe that's just what she needs. 

Tegann: Hi, I'm Tegann Parx. I know you already recog--
Carlo: Hi sugar. We will have sex, the darling?
Tegann: You don't waste anytime. You could work. Do you always get what you want?
Carlo: I am just offering you paradise. We will have a good time.
Tegann: Yes, yes, I know we would, but I need to find a guy who gets what he wants so he can sleep with my friend.
Carlo: I always receive what I want. 
Tegann: Great. I need you to meet my friend and stop her wedding.
Carlo: Well, we will have sex, the darling?
Tegann: Wait! What!! Me and you?
Carlo: Of course. There's enough of Carlo to go around.
Tegann: Ugh. Fuhgettaboutit!!

   And like a fly landing on a guido's greasy head, I slipped out of Little Italy. Meg was always too good for European lame-o's anyways. So far, I was disappointed with the results but wrecking someone's relationship is just too important to me to give up just yet. I checked out some of Meg's work and found she was more into guys with tons of ink and piercings, wearing all black, if anything at all. After discovering the only two vampire nudist colonies in SL were shut down, I said a prayer that this alt club is still opened, and I got there before their suicidal thoughts bettered them. Now, being who I am and living the incredible life I live, I don't feel all sad and weird like these emo freaks, but I try my best to get in their heads and maybe relate to what Meg sees in these guys. Spotting a pale skinned, tight wearing skeleton with black make-up worshipping an upside down cross, I figure that I found Mr Right. 

Tegann: Hi, nice wrist scars. Are you busy?
DJ 3000: Thanks. I'm free. Would you like to do something fun?
Tegann: Uhhh something fun? For you weirdos that's like hurting cats and stuff, right?
DJ 3000: (laughs)
Tegann: Crazy!! You guys can actually laugh! You don't think hurting cats is fun?
DJ 3000: No...
Tegann: I'm not sure you are the right guy for Meg. 
DJ 3000: If you make them laugh, it is much more fun
Tegann: You make cat's laugh? Maybe it's the incense and fog machine, but I'm so confused. 
DJ 3000: I'm not sure you are the type of girl I want to be seen talking to. Hurt a cat??
Tegann: Don't judge what she may or may not like in her guys. Have you ever tried it?
DJ 3000: No...but I do hate them. I never had one.
Tegann: What did they ever do to make you hate them?
DJ 3000: They ate my birds, but I never hurt one. 
Tegann: Maybe your stupid crows or ravens or whatever you geeks have, did something to the cats first. 
DJ 3000: They were budgies.....

    So, maybe it was a mistake to bring up the guys dead birds, but in no way did I cause DJ 5500 or whatever his name was to do what he did. Besides, I thought those dudes liked hanging out in coffins. Needing to lighten my mood, I get a drink at a local male strip club. It's here that I meet Richard B. Long.... or his stage name, Jus Dreamy. 

Tegann: Hey, hot stuff. Nice moves.
Jus: Thank you. What brings you here today?
Tegann: I've been meaning to come here forever because I heard they have the hottest men. You certainly are proving the rumor right. However, there is another reason. Would it be a problem if I asked you some questions while you proceed to make me hot with carnal desire? I can slip a few Lincolns into that sexy manly g-string for your time. 
Jus: You can ask me anything you want. 
(I slip a five beneath the strap and he proceeds to rub his sweaty, wrinkled body on me)
Tegann: Okay great!! So, here's the story: My good friend is gorgeous, smart, funny, and sweet and she's decided to get married. I'm not sure how I feel about it. What are your views on marriage? 
Jus: I've never been. I think its good for some, not so much for others. 
Tegann: Seeing you are both adult entertainers, I thought you could share some insight for me. Do you think a porn star can settle down with one guy and make a marriage work?
Jus:  I do think they can settle down and make it work so long as they are open and let each other know what they expect from the other after marriage and stick to it.
Tegann: Maybe it's the booze, but that sounds like some good advice. But how can someone that obviously loves sex and surrounded by hot hung men stay faithful?
Jus: I have been with my current love for about 6 months now. If you love the person like I love her, you will remain faithful. Either that or they need to have an open relationship and realize there is a difference between sex and love. But again, that only works if both of them agree and set ground rules.
Tegann: Wow you actually sound you know what you're talking about. I think you could be a good match for her. If I slipped a few Benjamins down the front this time, do you think you could do me a small favor and steal her away from him?
Jus: NO! I am in Love with someone. I have remained faithful to her even though I work here. I will do nothing to ruin that.
Tegann: Hey Leatherface, what the fuck has love gotta do with anything? I'll give you 500 lindens and let you see my tits backstage?
Jus: No, I will not be unfaithful to my love.
Tegann: She doesn't have to know. Meg is a dirty little porn whore. You could probably get her to do all kinds of disgusting stuff. 
Jus: You can tip me all you want and I would even get naked up here, but nothing backstage. I am a professional. 
Tegann: Look at her face tattooed on my see, she's hot!!
Jus: She is stunning but she is not my love.
Tegann: She could be...
Jus: No, she could not be. I am sorry but I am going to have to ask you to stop. I will answer your questions, but I will not let you try and persuade me from my love.
Tegann: I'm negotiating.  I will give you 500L, show you my tits, you can touch them with one finger and smell my feet if you break into her home and cum in her bed. Her fiance will find it and think she's cheating. I can find a pic of her bare ass if you need something to jerk off to?
Jus: NO!! I will not do that. I will thank you for the tip your just gave me but I will not  do anything else. If you ask me again to do anything like what you have been asking, I will evict you. This conversation has gone in a direction that makes me feel uncomfortable. (He slides onto my lap and grinds he 55 year old viagra juiced up penis against me).
Tegann: I will let you videotape me drugging your girlfriend and finger banging her if you help me?

    After being not so politely shown the exit by two beefy well endowed bouncers (hey I was drunk and they were allowed their 15 minute break), I went home feeling defeated. It was unknown to me up to this point, living a near perfect life whereby I always got my way. As I looked through Meg's pictures, I wondered if there was any way of saving her. Then it came to me!! Expose her fiance for the true scum he is...or at least portray him that way. Meet Hoobs aka Diddy aka Hoobdiddy. Any guy with that many aliases has to have a past he wants to hide. Certainly, not a guy that should be marrying my beautiful friend. 

Tegann: Hey jackass, so what do you think makes a guy a good husband in SL?
Hoobs: I have no clue. I have already been married once and failed as a husband. Hopefully this time around, I get it right.
Tegann: So you admit being a failure in every way possible. That doesn't sound like husband material, if you ask me. Next question. Hopefully, you do better with this one. You couldn't possibly do much worse. Do you think 2 people in the adult entertainment industry can make a marriage work?
Hoobs: Of course. You see it all the time in adult entertainment.
Tegann: Wrong again. They are only together because they are on drugs and share the same STDs. That's 0 for 2. What makes the perfect woman for you?
Hoobs: I am already marrying her.
Tegann: Hey now. Don't try to fix this with these sickening cute answers. It's not allowed here. What if your girl wants to bring others in the bedroom?
Hoobs: I'm all for it.
Tegann: Well of course you are, pervert. I mean, threesomes are great and all...umm not like I'd know but ummm.... Ok, so I admit, you don't look too bad, I guess. If you are in a relationship, what's your reaction to a girl hitting on you?
Hoobs: I hit on them back, My fiance knows I will always come home to her. She is the only one I love, but does not mean I won't flirt back.
Tegann: You realize I will be confirming these perfect answers with a polygraph? Which of the following is considered cheating: A) Kiss from a girl B) Hand Job C) Blow Job D) Sex with a condom on E) Jerking it to a picture of someone else F) Jerking it to a picture of yourself G) Any of the above with the same sex.
Hoobs: Well, I jerk off to myself all the time, so that can't be cheating. I would say A, B, C D are all cheating.
Tegann: Sooo a hot famous female journalist could sleep with your wife and she should feel no guilt because it's not considered cheating. That's very interesting. I just gotta dig deeper to find your faults. You look like you lift. How much have your balls shrunk? Can you still have kids? How often do you get roid rage? If you can have kids, is roid rage hereditary?
Hoobs: Balls where the size of grape fruits, so they shrunk to normal size now, which is good. Hardly ever get roid rage and the kids will definitely have the same issues.
Tegann: You know, whoever said honesty is good, is an idiot. It won't save a marriage. Lastly, which one of the following is bigger:  A) Your bank account  B) Your list of STDs  C) Your penis  D) Your Ego  F) Your lust for me  G) Your love for Meg Corral?
Hoobs: F) My lust for you!! Meg is a close second.
Tegann: Well, maybe honesty isn't so bad after all. Also, I was probably just greedy. Probably having Meg as a runner up to me in your eyes and you being a distant second to me in Meg's point of view could be enough to actually make it work. 

   Perhaps I was out of line, attempting to bribe guys to ruin my friends relationships, but what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't test it. In the end, I should be thanked. Anyway, I guess I should wish her best of luck in her future marriage and stand beside her until they are two wrinkled old fucks about to share a tombstone as husband and wife. On the other hand, perhaps having her name and work featured on here will cause her fame to explode and swell her ego so much, no man will ever be good enough for her. Yeah, let's give that a try. 

The Sexy Couple
   If there's anyone out there who want to stalk her, kidnap her, etc to possibly end this marriage, then a good start would be researching these links:
 For unlimited sexiness, check out Meg's pics here: Meg's Flickr
 To keep up to date on what she's up to: Meg's Blog